chaz720.net - journal

March 02, 2000

Way to start out a new month simpson, no friggin entry on the first day. Well, I have my reasons. I was busy talking to someone, and that was more important. And after that conversation, I wasn't ready to type anything, I needed some sleep.

I picked up a bad ass printer yesterday, the HP 4050. The sole purpose of that printer is to throw out tons of big documents and to do it very quickly, it prints at 1200x1200, and it only takes a little over 2 seconds to print each page, yawn. But enough about that.

I also set up a LAN in my house, which was basically done so that I can not have the printer in my room but still use it, total the LAN costed under 50 bucks including the 100' or so of CAT5 I had to use. Which is a whole 'nother fun story. The original plan was to run the cable through my attic, which sounded simple enough staight up, straight across to the other room, and straight down, simple... ...yeah, simple my ass. First night we decide we needed fish tape, so we just ran it along the hall and just kinda put it out of the way temporarily, we should have just left it there. We got fish tape today and went up to the attic, guess who put on gloves, a dust mask, and long pants to go up there... ...and forgot a friggin long sleeve shirt. Long story short, The cable is back on the floor and very creatively tucked under baseboards and carpet so as not to be seen... ...and the hair on the underside of my forearms has been replaced with millions of microscopic cuts from the damn fiberglass that to this moment is absolutely bugging the shit out of me. But it all works and I can share files and such, and when (if) I get some form of broadband, sharing it will be easy.

My article gets released tomorrow, we'll see what kind of response it gets. I see a range of reactions coming out, I wonder what pete will do with it in his viking update. At this time, ryan will be taking a cold shower so that he can once again function as a human being, and some time this weekend, expect to see the inside joke site I told you about eariler.

March 03, 2000

Well, today was a good example of how motivated Hans and I are to do anything without some outside force. Objects at rest will tend to stay at rest, in other words, we just sat around. Katie is on a field trip at the Shed Aquarium with her internship class, Marci is in Alabama, and Joel is at an out of town wedding. So there went the major 'foundation' people of our group (those who get everyone else to do something.) Hans computer is acting up for no apparent reason. It is making Unreal run at, oh around 5 fps, which I don't even have to tell you is not a whole lot better than if I used my new printer to play it flipbook style. I run msinfo and saw that he had about 12 different sets of drivers floating around deep within the bowels of his registry and we figured that is probably what is causing it.

Actually we did get one thing accomplished, I learned how to drive a stick today. Obviously I still could use some practice as everything gets easier with time, but I am able to get the car rolling without any fits now. What is really funny is, Hans let me sit there and make a complete jackass out of myself for about 10 minutes and do a number on his clutch until he basically smacked me in the head and said, 'no like this dumbass.' I think that really outlines society well. I think that the reason people have a hard time being taught how to do anything, is because they think the know how to do that thing already (inevitably they are ignorant and haven't the first clue.) I risk sounding like an idiot when I say that I didn't know that the car actually accelerated as you were letting the clutch out, so lets just say the first few 'starts' that I atempted were more acurately discribed as all too short and sudden lurches that resulted in the car moving about four feet, and the engine quitting. But now I know what I am doing, and as Hans said, 'eh... every car has a different feel anyway, so don't get too used to this one.

OH, and my Logue article came out today. As I suspected, I got quite a few mixed opinions on it, surprisingly, my electronics class of mostly freshmen thought it was good, I figured freshmen would be the last people to think people shouldn't complain about school but oh well, I was wrong. No, the only complaints I have had so far have been from people that are being presumptous, and reading into it way the hell too much. No one has taken it as a personal attack... ...yet... ...so that is good, I'm prepared to deal with the inevitable person that does.

I am attempting to make a better system on the MWF page for sending e-mails, cause right now when you click to send an e-mail it throws open like four windows in the process and just generally looks like shit. So that will be interesting, I just need to find a good way to send it to my e-mail account using post, I need to either write or steal some form processing code, eh... I may or may not ever get around to that, as I'm sure you all know I like to say, time will tell.

March 05, 2000

Wow... ...I feel old. I heard the news today that my sister is engaged to be married. That is such a mind job. I am so happy for her, but I can't help but think about how it seems like only yesterday she was a senior in high school just as I am now. How scary is that? I knew that Eric and Her really liked each other a lot and I figured that it was only a matter of time before they tied the knot, Like I said, I am very happy for you guys, and wish you both luck. Enjoy life, live it to the fullest, and whatever you do, always look on the bright side of life. Look at me, I am writing like I am never going to speak to her again, that's awfully silly of me.

Anyway, on with the hopefully less meandering part: I am actually writing this as a pause in my current task which is to write a paper about wuthering heights. I am more concerned, at this point, with just getting a paper written with less of a concern that it be some highly enobled work of literature. I am about half way done, and I think that althought the begginging is usually the hardest part, I may be here a while. The reason I am writing the paper right now is kinda a funny one. Well, okay, not so much funny as it is not funny.

Today, Hans and I were given the task of setting up some computers at my dad's office. As usual, I was not informed of the intensity of which we would be working. What Ryan was told we would do: set up three computers, install a hard drive in one computer, and a tape drive in another computer. What we were expected to do: Install the three computers, and network them so that they could not only see each other, but also see the archaine file server that was running some outdated, obnoxious server software that used a form of an IPX protocal that windows 98 wants nothing to do with, and oh yeah, run a phone wire through the ceiling so that a modem and later a DSL line can be used with the computer furthest from the phone line (this wasn't really a huge task, but it did involve wire strippers and a few extra minutes of our time.) We left the office working to an extent, all of the new computers saw each other and were able to print to a common printer. And all of the old computers that were left over could see eachother, access the archaine file server, and print to a different common printer. One of the new computers pretended to see everything if only for a moment but really just got false hopes up. Long story short, we spent pretty much all day there and got quite a bit done, enough anyway to make my dad satisfied for the time being. And hey, true to my logue theory, I learned a bunch about what doesn't work when you are trying to set up a network.

I can thank a fluke in scheduling at CompEstadosUnidos for my ability to go downtown today, because this is the first sunday that I have not been scheduled for without some special request since July. Oh well, I don't really care, either way my day was pretty much taken up, I just got to get up a little bit later than usual. Hans's computer has managed to brake and fix itself on several fronts in the past few days, he has had everything from a "fried mainboard" to a "dead harddrive" that for absolutely no reason, when left alone fixed themselves. There is no way that one can complain about the computer's freak functionality augments, but it makes one wonder.

I also just want to mention here that I maintain to not have broken Katie's computer. All I did was find and install the missing drivers for her network card that was not working. And when I restarted the computer it started complaining that some system files were missing that not only have nothing to do with the network card, but any form of communication at all. So if you want to keep telling yourself and others that I broke it, then do so if it makes you happy, but do so knowing that you are living a lie :).

Unfortunately, I am currently typing, and yet the length of my paper for English is remaining constant, so I had best get myself working on that before I get too tired and it starts flowing even worse than it is right now.

March 06, 2000

I finally got around to making the MCP page which, as I said, is an inside joke and will make either little or no sense if you don't know the speaker of the anonymous quote at the top of the page. Right now the javascript thing I wrote to view the images full size doesn't work. It worked on my friggin hard drive when I made it, I even tried it in both netscape and in IE, both of which worked, but as soon as it got uploaded it took a shit on me, oh well, is such tasteless humor worth the effort... ...hell ya, expect it fixed pretty soon. but enough about that.

I gave Joel a little present today, actually it isn't that little... ...It's a big 3-d stand up cardboard advertisement thing for Unreal Tournament that I got from work. I figured he'd get a kick out of that.

Oh, speaking of work... ...I gave my two weeks today. My manager responded with the classic approach, in this order: Why are you quitting? Is that it? You think you are going to get a better job somewhere else? Oh, so you are not going to work anymore? Oh, so I am making an ass of myself? that's about how it went. So two more weeks before I can get out of that tedious hell-hole that it has become. I am sick of standing in front of that damn counter, which is becoming way over-populated with corporate bullshit, for five hours all the time, when I could be spending the time with friends, living out the remainder of my high school career, not as a sentece, but as a chance to have fun. I am lucky enough that I don't have to work if I don't want to, and I think that I should take advantage of that while I can. The only reason I got that job is because it was a fun way to occupy my time, back when I actually had any. Emphasis on the "was" in that last sentence.

So now I may actually get to read my english book for once instead of falling so horribly in reading debt that a whole night of reading at my sickly pace couldn't get me out of. That is something that I always thought was funny. Most of my friends refer to me as the dork of the group, the one whom knows all kinds of useless dorky trivia, is way at the top of his class, and has a knowledge base broader than Cartman's ass... ...yet I read slower than old people fuck. What the hell, unless I really get into a book, it takes me forever to read it. Is it other things on my mind? Am I using some stupid technique? Am I a retard? It isn't that I can't read or anything like that (I assure you most of the spelling errors on this page can be attributed to erronious typos that occur due to me typing really fast when I am tired, and notepad doesn't have spell check so fuck it.

My sister (not the engaged one) is coming home this weekend to celbrate her birthday which is on the 16th. I haven't seen either of my sisters in a while, this will be a fun little, mini-reunion. I proably won't see both my sister's together until my graduation, and right now that seems like quite a ways away from where I stand right now.

Ho Hum, time for me to try to get some reading done so I am not even further in debt tomorrow. Night all.

March 07, 2000

Let's see, what happened today... hmm... Okay, a few things.

I watched a version of Wuthering Heights after school to which of course I had to bring my speakers to 'cause now it's just expected of me. I am going to write my Government papers tomorrow morning, I have it all planned out, they should only take me about half an hour a piece so I will be up and walking at around 5:15. This will work.

I feel really bad for Joel all of the sudden. I was only sortof informed over the details of his parents divorce, but I was unaware that they were still at each others throats. I have to admit that he is doing a good job at handling it. I think he also just realized what I meant when I said he was realistic. While I didn't mean it directly as calling him cynical, I think that is the best word to describe it. I think there is a cynic in all of us. I have been able to go with the, 'Yeah the world has generally sucked, and will probably suck in the future, but right now I will try to ignore that' attitude which allows me to not really care too much about many problems, of which I seem to accumulate in this manner.

I mean, c'mon, I can honestly say that the biggest 'problem' in my life is that I don't have enough time to read my English books lately, and my grade will probably reflect that. But I know damn well that that means two things right now, jack and shit, and jack left town. Everything else seems to be sortof going my way, and I can appreciate my luck in this area. It is for this reason that I like to listen to the problems of others, I feel no resent toward anyone who speaks of their problems. I think the reason people sometimes do this is because they feel that their problems are too much to bear as it is and they don't need to be hearing about others' problems.

I do have a really catching song in my head: Herman's Hermits - Into Something Good. Feel free to download, listen to, and get it stuck in your head as well. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, here is a stupid problem I have. The compter that I am using as a print server for my HP 4050 (and also as a second computer for my mom) is randomly functionless. It is doing absolutely nothing and there ain't much I can do about it, I have tried different videocards, and I can't even get it to post to the bios screen. I hardly care, I am gonna get a EIO JetDirect card as a quick fix to the problem it causes me, but as far as it being a second computer, your guess is as good as mine.

So now I am the official last person to not have a cable modem. (sigh, this is the pits) I think that maybe god is mocking me for not believing in him. Twice I have had, almost-broadband. One of the times much closer than the other but still, this is getting just a little bit trying. Next year will be great with the whole DS3 going for me, but not a whole lot of this summer will be spent downloading or playing Unreal as I was hoping I would have the option for. What can I say, I have developed more patience in this manner than one can possibly believe, so I guess I have come out of this ahead.... ....fuck fuck fuck, I want one of those damn things, why must every company be a combination of stupid and misrepresentative that I have had to deal with, I hate people.

March 09, 2000

WAAAZZUP! Okay, so I didn't see that commercial during the superbowl, but I did get it off adcritic, okay, so I'm slow, but I think those commercials are funny, despite the fact that they have nothing whatever, to do with beer.

So Hans faces another decision about what he plans to do with his self-esteem. I hope he makes the right choice, what do I think is the right choice... ...Whatever Hans wants to do about it. But I will give him one thing, he does have the balls to put Win2k on a machine he plans to run strictly for gaming ad expect it to work, but I have to say, that if it does, I just might follow, cause Win2k is a much better operating system, if only you can get all your shit to work on it.

I watched Shag today... ...finally. It was an okay movie that I can't say was a waste of my time, but I don't think I would procede to watch it another dozen times and that start quoting it religiously, unlike a certain pair of people who shall remain nameless.

CARE is just plain fun every time I go, playing games, sports and just entertaining kids is like a break from work, not work. I couldn't tell you right now what I would do if I went there on a more frequent basis, I might get a bit sick of all the running around and crazy amounts of energy these kids have... ...oh, crap... ...I sound like I'm 40 that ain't good, oh well, you can't be a little kid forever.

This weekend we will be celebrating my sisters birthday, cause she will be in Mexico for the actual event, wow, my sisters are now both over 21, and I will be 18 soon, time flies when it goes by in the past tense. My sister gets yet another new car this weekend, but it will be here for a week while she is in Mexico... hmm... I might test it out and make sure that it is worthy of her driving expertise while she is gone... :)

I have discovered that even though I am playing on a dial-up, I am still pretty damn good at UT online. I just need to humble myself away from my favorite weapon (running around with the Sniper Rifle as a pistol, a la the title page to the MWF website) and bust out the rocket launcher so that I can always get the kills. I found a bunch of new ways to defend in the face level through some very creative use of the teleporter.

I haven't had time to mess with the MCP site to get it working mainly because I don't really feel like it, and secondly because I don't really feel like it. I have not had enough sleep lately and it has shown in the last period of school everyday, where I come closer and closer to falling flat on my face asleep in the middle of the period, I need to stop doing stupid shit like playing UT until one in the morning only to stay up for another few minutes to write these entries. I just always find myself looking forward to the weekend cause that means that not only do I not have to go to school, I don't have to go to work either. The later will become a permenent thing very soon, but even now weekends are a much welcomed break to the rat race that is the torturious remainder of this meaningless senior year.

It seems to be becoming a huge deal that my mom's computer doesn't work and they think that the only reason it isn't fixed yet is because, "I am not even trying to put an effort towards it an am just throwing all your time at your friends." Oh, I apoligize, how selfish of me, let's just do everything you want to do.

March 10, 2000

Let me see, Let me see... How do we cook up a nice pot of today, hmm... Let's check the recipe, okay here we go: 1) Take one spinning fan and insert shit. 2) Clean up mess. Yes, Hans and Marci are through, (once again please see 12-4-99 if you have any questions) and I think they are going to be a little bitter for a while. Beyond that, I have pretty much already told everyone where I stand, and I ain't typing it out again.

Hans and I did some laps in my neighborhood in his dad's car, my sister's car, and finally in my dad's car. I have only on rare occasions had that much fun in my life. I mean, we did of course uh (cough) go only 25 the whole uh (cough) time, but it was fun none the less. My sister's new car is pretty sweet, but after the acura and the jaguar, I will never be able to drive a saturn the same way again.

Three more times do I have to work at compUSA, but I think I will be sick on Monday, between RAW, Katie's cookies, and an MWF game, I don't think the money is worth it.

My ass hurts, I am very busy kicking it right now, because I don't have $56,400 that I could have had right now. Hans and I both looked at the stock in Rambus about a month ago when it was at 45, today, it closed at 421. doh, (kick) (kick) (kick). That would have nicely paid for a car + college. but then I suppose that hindsight is always 20/20.

I like that saying, "Hindsight is always 20/20" it is so true, how many times do we beat ourselves up for not doing the right thing? pfft, if everyone where perfect life would suck, no one would have a job, because when you come right down to it, if you were perfect, there would be no reason for you to need anyone to do anything for you, so there would be no reason for money to exsist or be exchanged, we would all lead boring, "Pleasentville" lives, and I don't think that anyone really wants that.

March 11, 2000

Well, I didn't have to work super late tonight, after I was done counting at my desk, I just went to Debbie and said, "Okay, I'm done with upgrades, I have two more days to work here, The only reason I showed up tonight is because I heard that Joe quit and I didn't want to screw you guys over, but now I am leaving." So she let me go.

I went to Hans's house basically just in time for everyone to leave, so I may has well have just stayed and worked. I did find some cool websites (much by accident of course) that I learned a few new tricks that I employed on the MWF site. And I also have the MWF site updated so now it includes all the members again, as well as a news page that will let you see info about our last, and latest upcoming match.

I have the song "Personal Space Invader" in my head for whatever reason, It is driving me crazy and no matter how many times I listen to It's a small world, it won't go away. This is really pissing me off.

I don't have school or work tomorrow so I just might be inclined to do nothing tomorrow, we will see how that stacks up against my other options.

I had dinner at the melting pot tonight (the fondue place), I love the food there, everything is so good and there is a ton of it. Unfortunately, two family members and a couple fellow employees were sick today, and right now I can feel my pulse in every inch of my head to the point where it feels something is going to explode, so I really need to do less rambling and do more sleeping. 'night.

March 13, 2000

Damn, I think Joel needs to take the whole MWF game thing a little less seriously. I understand that it is his little pet creation, but I mean damn, he was really pissed tonight. The other team we were supposed to play fucked around and fucked around until it was about 45 minutes after the game was supposed to start. finally they agreed to play on D^3's listen server. at which point the whole team sat around and waited when suddenly Joel's cable modem took a crap on him for around 15 minutes. At which point the match had already started and Rosie wouldn't get D^3 to restart the server. So the weasels lost the game miserably, last we knew about it it was 6 to 0 and they had only been playing for like 5 minutes. good job guys. Oh, well, it ain't like no one has ever lost and then come back and played fine the next time. Maybe next time I will play on one of Hans' computers, that should be interesting, I'll just bring my keyboard and my trackball and open a can-o-whoopass on all those who oppose the MWF.

On a lighter note, I did some major revamping work on the MWF page. It now has a cool opening movie with new music and sound effects, the begining movie strobes some screenshots, and I need to get some more of those before the movie will not suck, but that will come all in good time.

I didn't have any homework today, which is a very good thing because I got a new toy today from work. I consider it a going away present to myself. I was going to get one anyway and since I am not going to be able to get a discount as easily later, I figured I would just pick it up now. I agree that I may or may not use it extensively before I get to college but I do plan on using the calander, contacts, and games functions of it for now. I may try and get good at the graffitti hand-writing style, or I may get one of those bad ass role up keyboards that you can roll into a little ball, but they roll out into full size keyboards and they plug into your palm pilot and that way you can just type directly into them, very cool idea if I do say so myself, either way I will be learning the ins and outs of it for a while as well as downloading cool apps for it, for any of you who get palm piolts or have them or are in anyway interested, I will post some link s over the next few days, here is one to start you out, Palm Gear.

Today was kinda cool, I took a little quiz on the Mayor of Castorbridge and I did well on it, not because I had read all the material, but because Chris explained to me what happened in the chapters two seconds before the test started (thank you Chris). And then I got my Government papers back and I got A's on all three of them. I am so proud of myself that I was able to get up at a quarter after 5 in the morning and crank out a total of 8 pages worth of essays in an hour and a half, and manage to have all of them be A quality, college success, here I come.

Yesterday was fun, I got a bunch of sleep, and I learned some new things about certain things you can do with websites. I didn't, however, manage to find time to buy new shoes which I repeatedly told myself I was going to do this last weekend, oh well, maybe next weekend.

Katie and I went out to Deer Grove forest preserve so that she could test out her newly aquired photographic skillz with her grandfather's camera. We came to the conclusion shortly after arriving that maybe it would be slightly more interesting to take pictures of things that weren't all dried up and dead. Unfortunately that was all there was there, so it had to do.

I then preceded to accidentilly end up with Joel in my room playing Zelda 64, (note to self, hide that game next time Joel comes over) which is something that I don't wish on anyone. Hopefully, Hans didn't get yelled at for coming home too late last night.

Oh, that reminds me, the world may now rejoice in that no longer will we have to put up with constant phone calls and conversations that involve Hans bitching about his computer not working properly. Yes, a flash to the BIOS finally fixed the problem, I have no idea why I didn't think of that earlier because I have done that to fix problems in the- oh wait! I remeber why I didn't come up with that idea, it is beacuse I wasn't trying to think of a way to fix his computer, I really don't care enough to burn the calories and fire the neurons to get Hans's machine-o-which-he-brags back to operational status.

I guess this is Hans's little pet creation that he must cherish, kinda like the MWF for Joel, I guess the MWF website, my godlike machine, my car stereo, my new Palm Pilot, my inhuman studly uT sKiLlZ, and my devestating good looks are all I have going for me.

I came up with a fun cheer that cries out wanting to be made longer (sure Hans inspired it but he doesn't need credit for doing anything) it goes as such: "What are people?" -"Stupid!", "When are they stupid?" -"Always!", "Why are the stupid?" -"Cause it's easy!", "What do we do about it?" -"Make stupid chants!". So that's all I can come up with but I guess that's because I am really really really tired, I suppose I should go to sl- zzz zzz zzz

March 15, 2000

Yestersay was rather uneventful, that is why I didn't write anything. The day, outside of school pretty much consisted of doing nothing and you need not be bored with that.

My last day at work today wasn't bad, I only wish Hans hadn't been there cause the only thing that kept me from just walking out as soon as we closed was the fact that he would have been stuck there til 9:45 cleaning up everything while Jason made it a general pain in the ass to be there. Besides, I was going to drive Hans home and would have had to spend the 45 minutes sitting in my car while he was getting pissed off at me for doing it to him.

I didn't go on any shopping spree today as some people do. I merely bought a palm glove ( a case for my palm IIIc that is made out of neoprene) which is one of the cooler cases there. And one of the only cases that does not turn your palm pilot into a breifcase that you have to lug everywhere. Where is the logic in buying a huge orginizer that has a spot for a palm pilot? Hello... retard... what the fuck did you buy the palm pilot for? Some human actions can never be explained.

Well, everyone is coming back for spring break this week. Tobes, Jason, and Rosie are all back together which is going to make for an interesting weekend. Unfortunately, I feel ill right now and I have homework to do. This is a very bad combination to have upon one's head because it usually results in neither one being fixed any time soon. But there are only two more days left until the Korn concert, which is always a good thing. later

March 16, 2000

Happy Birthday Lauren!

urgh, I hate illness.

So now I am being stalked buy this Dave guy who won't leave me alone about this whole 'nul' issue that came up. I won't say anything about it here because just about all of you were on that damn mailing list and have enough of it already. I don't see why he doesn't have more important things to pursue then some dumb argument about something that we basically agree on. I have resolved to ignore the rest of his complaints for fear that I will waste further hours of my life.

Korn concert tomorrow! hell yea! I can hardly wait. but there are some things between me and it, mainly some essays and junk that I have to do before I go to bed. Today I slept until 3 in the afternoon because this moring I had a fever and no use of my eyes or nose. It seems as though every time I get sick, I get very sick. I don't quite get it. I seem to heal fast, but the very very sick part is never pleasent.

Tonight I managed to peel myself out of bed and make my way to Hans' house to watch smackdown. Which was fun, just about everyone showed up. Except Marci cause she had to work.

I have been told that I am a dork by Katie because I have a Palm, well that's just peachy, I know she's just jealous that she doesn't have one :P. You know why I know? 'cause everytime I left the room I'd come back to find her playing with it. I don't mind, I admit that it may be a dorky thing to buy. But I know that I will need something next year to keep me on track. 'So buy a lousy stinking orginizer from office max ryan.' well, I've tried that, I just can't bring myself to remain orginized unless I somehow appease my need to be around computer equipment. I hate having to flip through pages. Besides, when is the last time you had a pocket book you could play chess against?

Well okay, I have decided that Marci and Hans need to have some outside influence to become friends again, cause it ain't happenin' the way things are going. I no longer feel it is healthy to have them not go to lunch together. I have thought of a couple of reasons: Marci keeps trying to make me feel guilty about making her go to lunch with Kari and Ryan cause they are 'throwing themselves at each other the whole time' and it is actually working (cause I know how annoying it can be to go out to lunch with people who throw themselves at each other). So from now on I think I can sacrifice my ability to go off campus for a period and a half straight (sorry Hans) in order to get those two to not be nearly as bitter towards each other. I mean seriously, break-ups are not best handled by having nothing to do with the person no matter what you may have read.

Dayquil is my friend. Dayquil is my friend. I'm not drunk I have a cold, but Dayquil is my friend.

Oh, here is a song for you that will hopefully never be played on an oldies station 30 years form now. 'Bloodhound Gang - A Lapdance is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying' let me just say it is at least 5 times worse than the worst bloodhound gang song you have heard. Now is the time where Ryan must take care of a good majority of the items that are sitting on the 'to do:' list on his 'dork toy' later.

March 17, 2000

Okay, this is where the bullshit, fluffy, yeah this is Ryan on the outside journal comes off. Even if only for one Entry.

Today Marci and Katie came over to watch a movie, Cruel Intentions, which was actually a good movie that I enjoed. The reason they came over is 'cause they were all pissed at not being able to go to some dumb party and that Joel just wanted them to come over until it was time for the party and then they were to just leave. So, being the nice guy that I am, I invite them over to watch a movie.

While they were over here Marci decided that it would be a great idea to peaking around through my computer, yea! what a joyous thing to do! She found some porn that I had. (horror of horrors Ryan is in fact a guy!) I don't even care about that as they thought I did. (obviously I am concerned about it's secrecy enough to put it on the internet) The only people that can say that they have never looked at porn are liars. So I don't really care about that. What does bug me is this. If you brought up something that a little 4th grade girl had in her diary in front of her, she would feel pretty pissed at you, even if it was a stupid little nothing that didn't really mean anything. That is the best way I can describe how I feel about this. The porn was a stupid little nothing on my computer that I treat like a diary. I have so much shit that belongs to me on this thing, I don't care to have it weeded through. Oh, and it turns out (late breaking news) that the guys never went to Lena's party so the whole thing wasn't necessary anyway.

Oh, and another thing while I am in the mood, Here is my freshman year yearbook picture. Most of you have that yearbook anyway so it ain't like you couldn't find it if you wanted to. The reason I dind't really care to have it publicized ain't cause I am ashamed of my past or anything like that, I'll tell you why. I finally today remembered why. There was a girl that I was talking to online freshman year who went to fremd, we talked a whole ton over the course of two weeks we became pretty good friends. We had no idea who each other were, but it was pretty cool anyway. Then one day we exchanged names, and we promptly went to our yearbooks to see if we had seen eachother before. I said I hadn't. She just said, and I quote, 'oh my god, you're such a dork.' and that was the last I ever heard from her. I can't believe that I let one idiot (now I realize that just about everyone is in fact an idiot and that I must be one for having a story like this) get to me so badly. For all I know it was some asshole messing with me, (they did go to fremd, we knew mutual people) but I guess it didn't matter, I blamed that picture for ruining a friendship. Nnow I don't care about it cause anyone who wouldn't talk to you cause of a picture isn't a friend anyway. So that's why there is a link to it, cause if you have a problem with it, you aren't really my friend and can therefore kiss my ass.

Well, now that that's over with, the normal everyday shit. yesterday I went to the Korn concert, it was fucking awesome, it was also Hans first concert so his parents better not find out what exactly 'General Admission' means.

Yesterday and today I have been working on a fun game show that I can't get to work entirely. I don't know the syntax for some of the commands in flash 4. But as soon as it's done it'll become a series, trust me.

March 19, 2000

I have an idea. Since I'm so bored and I don't want to watch SNL, I'll sit at Ryan's computer and read various Instant messanger conversations that Ryan has had with people and he saved for what ever reason he saw fit.

When I saved those conversations I had absolutely no intention of disclosing them to people, I don't think it was very polite to read them. Two can play the 'history game', as I was looking to open my gameshow to work on it this morning from the recent documents folder I saw some html files that were familiar but that I distinctly recalled not having looked at for some time. I would really hate to have to disallow anyone's use of my computer while they are here, but some times I am really tempted. I really am. I have had my own computer for several years now and it has gone through two sisters that have used it (one being novice and one relatively experienced in computer usage) and I have never had privacy issues. I don't get it.

But anyway, Today was pretty crappy, I got woken up at 6:30 by my parents to say goodbye, urgh! thanks guys. I fell back asleep and woke up a little later to have people over and work on a few physics lab write-ups that are due tomorrow. Oh, a note on that, if you have absolutely any choice in the matter, always pick groups of people for your lab group that you know the absolutely least about. The people that you have had absolutely nothing to do with ever. This will make it so that you can meet, get the lab write-ups done, everyone wants to get it over and done with because any silent or non-productive moments are uncomfortable because no one knows what to say, so it is very easy to stay on task. The group will part earlier and will have more time to hang out with the people of your choice and all will be happy. If you stray from this guide you will not only get frustrated, but you will also get absolutely nothing done.

Tonight my sister got delayed up to her ears while trying to come back from Acapulco. Her connection in Texas was screwed up so what started out as a 4:00 arrivial ended up being an 8:00 arrival thus basically leaving me with nothing to do tonight. So not only did I not get much of anything done today, I didn't even have a good time getting nothing done today, there goes another one of my 30,000 days.

March 20, 2000

So, The Rock vs. The Big Show vs. Triple H vs. Mankind for the main event at Wrestlemania. That ought to be fun to watch. This is the first time in a long time that I have been able to watch RAW. And I was so tired today I was considering not, but I wanted to keep an eye out for Hans, Jay, Rosie, and the others. I didn't see them, but that's problably cause I wasn't honestly trying very hard. Oh well, I like this whole not having to work during the work, I think I may be able to get a lot more sleep in and make for an easier life. That everyone can enjoy. So today I had a couple of quizzes that I feel I could have done without. Those will not be very welcome in my quarter grade. But here is good news. I think those god awful lab right-ups we handed in today won't get graded before wednesday, which means that the will go on next quarter, and we will have 9 weeks to fix the damage they cause. Thus leaving my grade as a much usful 'A' that I can take advantage of next quarter. The count stands at 4 as the number of days until spring break, and I get the feeling from the tone today took that count will slow the closer we all get to friday. Although, actually, now that I think about it, I may have just gotten the worst out of the way, time wil tell. I want to see that movie, High Fidelity that is coming out I think either this friday or next friday it looks pretty funny. Oh right, simpsonian broadband status. My cable availability has been upgraded from, 'coming soon in your area' to, 'available in your area, a rep will call you to schedule an installation.' (read: still coming soon) now, if I was a non-cynical average member of society, I would read that and think gee, maybe there is cable service in my area. I, however, have been hardened to such lies and expect not only to not get cable service, but that TCI wlll actually come to my house and tear my cable TV out of the wall just for asking about a cable modem. Of course that's just me, I suppose I could be wrong, however at the rate I've been going, it ain't friggin likely (knocks on wood)

March 22, 2000

I'm writing this from Joel's house 'cause that's where my computer is, and therefore you better bet that's where I'm gonna be. I came over here to play Unreal in an MWF game, unfortunately, we were scheduled against people that didn't know their ass from a whole in the ground cause they couldn't even get into their own server, so the MWF won yet another game without ever playing it, yea! go weasels! So we ended playing deathmatch games on their server that they couldn't get into or whatever. What a bunch of dumbshits, god. Today I got back my grade from my government test, and I got a D+, doh, well, it doesn't do anything to my grade I can't say that I didn't deserve it, I didn't think I did that bad, but ah to hell with it, I am way to close to college to care about a stupid test like that. I know that's a horrible attitude to have even at that end of your senior year and you've already been accepted to your college, but... ...um... ...no wait, I don't have a 'but' to follow that one up with. So now it is midnight and I should probably going to sleep or at least doing something along the lines of homework, but there are two days til spring break and I honestly don't care. I'm actually probably going to just leave my computer over here for a while, and I can just use my mom's computer if I absolutly need to, but I don't think any crisis will come up. The only problem I really see with this is that I am going to have a hard time falling asleep without the humming of my computer in the background. I have become so accustomed to it that silence really bothers me now. Oh, Hans now has an online journal, Get yours here. or not cause Hans needs to figure out css before the page looks cool, oh and hans, where the hell did you come up with the hex code for that font color, just call it FFFFFF or 'white'.

March 25, 2000

'Burning like a cancer when the answer did occur to me. Creep from the cradle, but a hero's what I want to be. Keep it moving people cause there's nothing more for you to see. I'm just a jerk, but a hero's what I want to be.'

I brought my computer back to my house on Mr. Hayhurst's request, although I was gonna bring it back hame soon anyway cause I was getting lonely at home here without it. Plus, no I can actually write journal entries again. Oh and I fixed the link to Hans' site in the last entry so now it works (stupid case sensitive servers). I got a haircut today which was much welcome. Although it wasn't my usual haircut, I just decided to have them cut the whole thing down to about a half inch with the clippers. Saves me time in the chair too. I like it a lot better like this. I used to wear it like this freshman year when I was wrestling cause at that time it would just get in the way. Only after I took my lovely yearbook picture in which I have the most retarded looking fro I have ever seen. I would like to take this time to apoligize to Katie for pushing her on the swing, I didn't she wasn't feeling well, sorry. Oh, right, we went to a park so that we could play on the 'whirly thing' which is esentially a playground toy/deathtrap/lawsuit that you get on and then spin really fast until everyone flies off of it or gets sick, whichever comes first. I am no longer in anyway affiliated with CompUSA, I picked up my last check today so now it is official. The only other thing I will get from them is the W-2. Yesterday was the first day of spring break. Yeah! and being the dorks that we are, a few of us got together and took the physics take home test yesterday to get it out of the way 'cause we knew damn well it was then, or next Sunday night at 10:00 while we were all groggy after having spent a week at our will. My parent return tomorrow, which means no more house-caring duties for me, and I don't have to walk my dog every 15 minutes cause she hasn't been able to leave me alone for more than that amount of time. We stayed up until roughly 4 o'clock tonight playing nintendo. Most Star Fox battles where we would have ground-air battles with mock-teams where we would challenge someone to take on the other three of us that were all some other type of unit. Which was fun but I think we ended it at a good time before it got to repetitive. Kinda a funny thing, I handed in my forms for the top 5% dinner on Friday, and I was wearing a shirt that had a little sign on it with a man and a fan blowing on him, and really big print says 'International symbol for BLOW ME'. I carried on a conversation for a few minutes with the assistant principal and he either didn't notice, or didn't care. Probably the former cause he looked like he was trying to get to work on something and was giving me that, 'I don't really want to talk to you right now, so I am just going to agree with everything that you say so that you will leave me too my work' attitudes. Which I can respect, I did that to people all the time at work. Oh, and that song at the begining is called Hero by the Verve Pipe. Not to be confused with the Verve (as around 25% of the people on Napster do). and if you don't have it get it, it's a good song.

March 26, 2000

'I looked into your eyes and saw, a world that does not exsist. I looked into your eyes and saw, a world I wish I was in.'

I think Hans is finally allowing himself to have a good time on his vacation even though hiking through the Grand Canyon with your family is such a wonderfully entertaining thing to do, he wasn't really looking foreward to it. But I suppose now he realizes that he can either enjoy the week or let the week suck. The reason I am telling you this is because I fall in much the same situation at the present time. I wasn't really looking foreward to the break when not many of us would be here. But I can either enjoy the break, or I can let the break suck. I have decided to say, 'to hell with scoring' and am putting the ydkjs game up here as it is, I don't even care to bother with it anymore, and it will be old by the time I get done with it anyway. Don't click on this link. I warned you, it is your own life that will be very quickly consumed as you mindlessly fool with the applet that awaits you on the other side of the hyperlink in the last sentence. Tonight I saw Eyes Wide Shut with Joel, Gim, and Marci. That movie is very fucked up. And Joel and I have come up with a theory about movies in general. The more of anything a movie is at the begining, the more it will end up in the opposite state. Take action movies; they usually start out with a car chase/explosion/random act of violence, and end with a happy peaceful ending. Titanic started out with a card game and a celebration of the departure and ended with Jack dying. Eyes Wide Shut started with a normal marrige and ended with, well, watch the movie. I guess change is inevitable and it reflects it self in the cinemagraphic field as well as in real life. Well change is welcome in most cases and I think we should try to see the light behind changes that appear to suck, as trite or as dumb as that may sound.

March 27, 2000

'You say, you want, diamonds and a ring of gold. You say, you want, your story to remain untold. About all the promises we made, from the cradle to the grave. when all I want, is you.'

I can't get over Something Awful. Joel brought this site to my attention and now I can't help but read every single page on the site. Damn you Joel. But at least it gives me something to do over break. Or I could work on more YDKJS games. Like this new episode that I made today. I have proved to myself that it will be in fact very easy to make new episodes now that the first one has been done. At some point this week I will add cheesy sound effects and see how much it alters the size of the swf file. If it is not all that much bigger then I will start using them. If the are, fuck it, I just assume have 35k files for those as much as I'm sure you do. But oh, wait, just about every single one of you who read this has broadband of some form. So screw it. Today was pretty interesting. I awoke around 12:30 to a phone call from bakers square, and I'm like, you'd better have something good to say Joel if you're gonna wake me up at this hour in the afternoon. he says hey what's up. I saw nothing, and he says, cool, I'm on my way over (click). okay. So we sat around and did a whole lot of making fun of bugs in Zelda 64 and not a whole lot else. I then got kicked out of my house at around 10 cause my dad had to go to sleep and we all met at Joel's house. Mr. Hayhurst has this little toy car that you pull back and it goes and I pulled it back, put it on Marci's head, and it went... ...Okay, so it was a bad idea, I realize that now, but all things being equal you have to admit it was pretty funny. We ended up having to take the car apart and disassemble the propulsion system to get it out of her hair, but it was pretty funny in hindsight. Unfortunately for me, Marci didn't think so. After it was out she threatened to hand me my nuts on a platter so I did what any honorable man would. I ran like a muthafucka. But all's well that ends well right, heh heh, yea, right. If'n I ain't the grand daddy of all liars.

March 28, 2000

'Cause it's a bittersweet, symphony that's life. Tryin to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down. You know the one that takes you to the place where all things meet. No change, I can change, I can change, I can change. I am here in my mold, I am am here in my mold; but I'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can change my mold, no no, no no, no.'

Anyone who thinks that they can change themselves or anyone they know is terribly nieve. People don't change, they act differently from time to time but they will always be the same person, I hate to say it but it's in our nature. Ask anyone with experience and they will tell you the same thing. On the vacation homefront: Hans has more sob stories of how much his vacation is making him want to be at home and how is not having much fun. He did day he managed to get into a town that doesn't sht down at 6 o'clock, so I hope he will manage to have some fun there. Tomorrow he has his 17 mile hike through the grand canyon. Katie seems to be having fun so far in florida, which I am happy to hear. At least that way spring break won't be a total loss for all of us. I didn't get to chat very long, it was around the dinner hour. I figured out when I am going on vacation this summer which is nice because it verifies that I am in fact definately going on the vacations. In my family until the tickets are purchased and sitting in a drawer, no event is final. We all sat around my house and watched the sixth sense. I had not seen it before along with joel and gim, while tracy and marci had. Joel already knew the ending so at the end he made all kinds of outrageous claims as to how he would have figured it out anyway... ...pfft. I know the point where I figured it out. Don't read next sentence If you haven't seen it yet. I knew right when cole told him that the way he could talk to his wife was if it was in her sleep. That made perfect sense to me cause they had an example of an average person hear a dead person talk earlier in the movie. The question we had was don't you think it would be common curtousy to inform someone that they were dead. Hey, any of you people out there who can see dead people, If I am dead and you can talk to me, and I think I am alive, please inform me that I am dead so I can at least move on or something. I don't want to spend my time where I could be livin' it up in the afterlife hangin' around this joint. Sure I care about all you guys here on earth, but you've seen the horrible generic portrayls of heaven on TV and in the movies... ...well... ...some of us believe in that, ha ha ha. So anyway, just let me know, okay.

March 29, 2000

'What is happening to it all? Crazy some'll say. Where is the light that I recognize. (gone away) But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world, somehow I have to find. And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world. I will learn to survive.'

Please try not to dwell on the past it usually ends up making you feel like crap, cause it seems the only time people ever look at their life as a whole is when they feel like shit. And then the make the current moment out to be the worst one in their lives. Doesn't make much sense if you ask me. Today I didn't do much. But if you are really clever you will have noticed that I have redone the website. a) I redid the titlebar in flash4 so it is now cleaner looking, there are animated buttons, and it is about a third the size it was as an imagemap. And now it is a hell of a lot easier to modify now as well. b) I killed all the backgrounds on the pages, I have meaning to do that for a while but I have always been to lazy/otherwise occupied to sit down and do it (not that it takes a whole lot of effort but it is just like anything else). and finally c) I have figured out some other places that I intend to 'flash' so to speak on my website, where it could use a little spicing up, and besides, I would like to have a little consistency in the look of the site which I think It lacks to some extent at the moment. Here is an interesting site Love calculator, I would love to see the cgi-script for that one. If you get a chance test your luck on that page. Oh and by the way in case you ever felt the need to make your brain bleed, Here are the first 1.25 million digits of PI. So I guess I am not the worlds most bored person on the planet. I still find something wrong with going to sleep tonight not having attempted to do anything tonight. I dont' know if we have gotten sick of each other or what but I think our ability to sit arounf and do nothing has been extinguished. There was some interesting occurances in other people's lives today. I was driving and Roselle road was blocked off due to a bad car accident. there were 3 fire trucks, an ambulence, and 4 police cars there that were, amoung other things, directing traffic into a nearby neighborhood of Inverness. That area is a maze of roads, none of which travel in straight lines. And the person in front of me just sat at every intersection for a few seconds and then slowly proceded. Finally I honked and pulled up beside them. And they agreed it be best if I lead the pack since they had honestly never been in the neighborhood. So I lead everyone to Palatine rd cause that's where I was going and that's where the person behind me was going, but I think everyone else that was following was iritated cause they went out of their way or something. How dare those people get severely injured in a car accident and disrupt my trip, how inconsiderate of them.

March 30, 2000

'And you may find yourself living in a shutdown shack. And you may find yourself in another part of the world. And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?'

I made a few changes to the site again. As you can see the bar to select the journal set is at the bottom of the page now, there are now consistant and kinda cool but subtle animations at the top of all the pages, and the title bar now flies together instead of just being there. I think I will just leave it as it is for a while lest I want to get out of hand. Tonight wasn't a whole hell of a lot of fun, but at least we weren't all alone. Joel was here until around 3:30 playing Zelda 64. He got to gannon but he ran out of magic so he couldn't use light arrows which you need to beat him (don't you hate it when that happens?) so we decided that that would be a good point for him to go home. I now remember why I have a whole bunch of games that are not installed on my computer. Mainly, because they suck, I needed Joel to tell me this cause I couldn't see it for myself at first. But the more you play these old games like Total Annihilation and Dark Reign, you start to realize how Homeworld and Tiberian Sun crush them in comparison. oh well. I guess Penny Arcade had it's one year anniversary or something cause their site has been played around with so it looks quite a bit cooler now. I made a site that makes fun of first time sites (not anyone's site in particular cause I remember my first site sucking pretty bad too). The best part of my little joke page are the links at the bottom that are labeled friend #1, Friend #2, etc. They are sites I found by searching altavista for 'this is my first website'. And I had no idea how correct I was in my stereotypes that I used to make my joke. Man I didn't think I was that accurate but I guess I was wrong. The fact of the matter being that most of the sites out there that are first time sights have been abondoned due to shame and the authors just picked up and left. I don't even think I still have a copy of my first site, but I don't think that my little joke missed the mark by too much. Right now it is 4:33 and I have no intention of remaining inteligable for any longer so laterz.

March 31, 2000

'I wish I was special, you're so fucking special, but I'm a creep, I'm a wierdo, what the hell am I doin' here, I don't belong here.'

Today I accumulated a bunch of Deep thoughts by jack handy that ougt to make you laugh for a while. I am once again writing this from Joel's house cause I brought my computer over here for an MWF game. We got are asses kicked but it was fun. (yes I realize how dumb that sounds) but the game did have it's moments. I had more fun after the game when it was Rosie and Jason/Joe vs Joel and I and we kept beating their asses cause they really suck or somethin'. Here is a nice snapshot of Marci with the car in her hair. She was even nice enough to give us the middle finger to make it appear as though she was pissed, she's such an act. Joel and I played homeworld tonight and I have decided that I don't really like the game all that much. I recognize it as a good game, but I don't like the feel of it. It tries to be too much like Master of orion than like the core RTS games. Games like Tiberian Sun, Red Alert, and Starcraft are 2D games but they have more action and clever force building than research and stuff like that. I don't know, maybe it's just me. I suppose I should let Joel go to sleep or whatever it is he plans to do after I leave. I just assume get my computer tomorrow cause I'm too tired to hook it back up again at home and I don't feel like having it sit on the floor in my room, but I suppose that's a lame excuse. oh well, later.

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