chaz720.net - journal

April 24, 2000

'i hurt myself today. to see if i still feel. i focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting, try to kill it all away. but i remember everything. what have i become, my sweetest friend? everyone i know goes away in the end. you could have it all, my empire of dirt. i will let you down. i will make you hurt. i wear my crown of shit upon my liar's chair, full of broken thoughts i cannot repair. beneath the stains of time the feeling disappears. you are someone else. i am still right here. what have i become, my sweetest friend? everyone i know goes away in the end. you could have it all, my empire of dirt. i will let you down. i will make you hurt. if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a a way.'

Today was sort of okay, sort of a waste. I spent about two hours on a project today only to have my computer crash, and since I am a moron, I hadn't saved it and had to start over again. But the second time I knew exactly what to do so I did it a lot faster. And I still got it done, so it's all okay. What is this project he speaks of? Why, none other that the new improved that now uses flash 4 to annoy my friends rather than the boring old tables. I said it before and I'll say it again, I am not going to change any of the info on that page until we graduate. I jsut want you to all see where I and everyone else stood back in the begining of December when I made that page. So anyway, don't bug me about changing it until we graduate. Today I got some of my homework done, enough to tide me over for the next few days, so that is good, after I picked up Joel at work, Joe, Jason and I, and later Rosie for a little bit, went on a UT server and just started dominating. There was one guys whose name was 'fuck_fuck_fuck" who was originally like, 'I thought clans were supposed to be good' trying to make fun of us. But when we shut out his team 6 times in a row he stopped talking. Every game, Jason and I were in the top three on our team, and a couple of the times our little trash talking wanna-be ad less than 5 points, oh, so sorry. Joel has hooked himeself back into FF VII and has played it for almost two hours again tonight. Oh, and, very soon my site will be moving, well, not really moving so much as gaining a new access point. it will be www.chaz720.net I hope to have it working by friday, oh, and I will be able to recieve mail at any_damn_thing_you_please@chaz720.net. So that will be fun. I will let you know for sure when it works. til then, later all.

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