chaz720.net - journal

August 10, 2000

'Somewhere there's speaking. It's already coming in. Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind.You never could get it. Unless you were fed it. Now you're here and you don't know why. But under skinned knees and the skid marks. Past the places where you used to learn. You howl and listen. Listen and wait for the echoes of angels who won't return. He's everything you want. He's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time. But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why. You're waiting for someone, to put you together. You're waiting for someone to push you away. There's always another wound to discover. There's always something more you wish he'd say. He's everything you want. He's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time. But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why. But you'll just sit tight, and watch it unwind. It's only what you're asking for. And you'll be just fine, with all of your time, it's only what you're waiting for. Out of the island, into the highway. Past the places where you might have turned. I never did notice, that you still hide away, anger of angels who won't return. He's everything you want. He's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time. But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why. I am everything you want. I am everything you need. I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things at exactly the right time. But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why. And I don't know why.'

I posted this song in my journal on April 22, 2000. I saw it then, and I see it now, so I'll post it again (this time in it's entirety). Yesterday a few of us talked about how everyone has a tendency to listen to songs, and think, "yep, that applies to my situation" some times they are right, sometimes they aren't (sorry hans :P). But with this song, I'm gonna go ahead and let you be the judge. Jason replied to the e-mail I sent today:

Hey guys, I just wanted to wish you fun with a slut and an asshole. I hope you have a great time with Marci and Joel. Apparently you don't know what or who real friends are.

I guess maybe I was hoping for more of a response from him. I by no means wrote the last letter to get a rise out of him, but was just trying to point out what I felt. But I'm afraid I may just give up now. I usually don't quit anything like this, but seriously folks. I am wasting my time. I refuse to try and converse with someone that shows this kind of lack of respect for people. Especially when I try and reason with him. I'm not replying to this e-mail other than this short little blurb, and will not speak any further about it. Meanwhile, I saw 2001: A space oddesey today... ...all I have to say is I spent the last half of the movie trying to figure out the most effective way of giving myself a total frontal lobotomy so as to stop the mental anguish that was the directionlessness of this film. But this is like the "modern art" of movies, so if you don't like it you are a fool. I have to go back to my dad's office on Monday cause he needs more work done. He has finally green lighted upgrading all the computers to 98, ditching the ones that can't do it, and moving the server data to a 98 machine, and then just mapping a network drive to protect continuity of the drive specifications for the older programs.

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