chaz720.net - journal

August 13, 2000

'A long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I can remember the last thing that she said as you were leaving, "oh the days go by so fast." And it's one more day up in the canyons. And it's one more night in Hollywood. If you think that I could be forgiven, I wish you would. The smell of hospitals in winter, and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters but no pearls. And once she looked across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl. And it's one more day up in the canyons. And it's one more night in Hollywood. If you think you might come to California, I think you should. I Drove up to Hillside Manor, sometime after 2 am, and talked a little while about the year. I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower. Makes you talk a little lower, about the things you could not show her. And it's been a long December, and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. I can remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass. And it's one more day up in the canyon. And it's one more night in Hollywood. It's been so long since I've seen the ocean, I guess I should.'

Things are pretty cool with Jason again I guess. He quasi-apoligized, and thanked me for not being a part of Tping his house. I guess that's all I really wanted. Given we aren't best buds now, but we're for the most part cool. So I guess I get to go to college without anyone being mad at me. I just have to not screw up this week :). Goodbye and good luck to Marci, who, Joel has described as being the incarnation of free spirit and fun. I don't know if I'd go quite that far, but she was kinda a cool person to hang out with, regardless of people's beefs with her. Good luck at LSU, and best wishes to your Grandmother. On a similar note, today was Molly's last day in town, and she is taking off for Iowa tomorrow. I will miss you a whole ton. Good luck there and all the other trite things to say to someone leaving. Maybe Molly leaving is different that Marci to me or something 'cause we are all coming back here for Thanksgiving and then Christmas, so I will see her and a bunch of other people then. That will be cool, and it kinda takes some heat off of the departure I suppose. Less bells going off in the head comparing it to death then for someone I may never see again. Today I played a round of golf with my dad, and after not having played for about 2 years now, I think I did pretty well. My dad really wanted to play "one last round" today before I went to college. And I told him, you know, I'm not dying, I'm just moving away. He just kinda laughed and then looked down. Joel and I were discussing this yesterday. He compared the thought of Marci leaving, to the thought of her dying. That's it, it's over, he may not ever see her again. The concept of it is similar to the brain as the death of that person. And we react similarly. With the rest of us it will be different as there will be breaks that we will come. across and see each other. But regardless it will be hard. It's kinda funny and to use an overly used quote, "you won't know what you got 'til it's gone". But now I'm just ramling. On an even sadder note than friends leaving I had to take my stereo out of my car today :P. It is currently now without any form of music as although we replaced the deck and speakers with the old ones, I need to get the code to disable the security feature that is enabled when you disconnect it from the battery. Until then, I travel in silence, it's quite sad.

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