chaz720.net - journal

August 28, 2000

Okay, now, I have a filter on my mail, amoung others, that checks to make sure that the "TO:" or "CC:" line actually is addressed to me, and not left blank or filled with a convoluted place holder like "porncandidate@internet.com". And it takes all the messages that don't qualify, and are usually not worth my reading, and dumps them in the shit bin. It doesn't delete them unless I choose to, and I usually just choose to ignore them. But since I was bored (I don't know how I got bored, with all the work I do, but I managed) I took the time to pick through some of these, and give you a little glimpse at the absolutely retarded spam I've been recieving.

Subject: Making Money On The Internet Is Easy!
Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2000 06:47:16 +0200
From: Beth0814@mostcat.com
To: Beth0814@mostcat.com

"Heavy Hitters" Not Needed!

This one's for YOU! Get your piece of the explosive financial opportunity that the internet is creating for millions of people. Fast-growing company offers a simple, home-based business that creates 6 to 7-figure annual incomes. Just a small start-up and NO monthly purchase requirements. Call 1-(720)-535-3350 and leave your name, phone number, and the best time you can be reached. You'll be glad you did!

To be removed from our list, simply click "reply" and put the Code "REMSKY17" in the subject line. Warning: If you do not put the code "REMSKY17" in the subject line, you will not be removed. The process is automated.

Hmm, funny, last time I checked my E-mail wasn't "Beth0814@mostcat.com". And does anyone find it disturbing that not only does this company not actually have a name, but there is absolutely no mention of where the money comes from, or where it goes? I think that's a little weird. I just wish that unsubscribing was as easy as "subscribing" was, whcih is to say, to have done nothing whatsoever.

Subject: We will delete your bad credit even if it accurate
Date: 16 Aug 00 12:31:01 AM
From: kmhkmh123@email.com

GET YOUR CREDIT REPAIRED LEGALLY FOR $399 EVEN IF THE INFORMATION ON YOUR CREDIT REPORT IS ACCURATE!!!!! MONEY BACK GUARANTEED IF WE DON'T IMPROVE YOUR CREDIT! WE HAVE A 95% SUCCESS RATE!

NATION WIDE CREDIT REPAIR AND DEBT SETTLEMENT is a prominent Beverly Hills company that repairs: repossessions, foreclosures, court judgments, collection accounts, bankruptcies, tax liens charge offs, late payments, past due debts, loans, defaults, credit cards, credit rejections, credit inquiries, some unpaid bills and more.

They didn't even bother with a "TO:" line in this mail. But that is expected as this company is obviously run by a bunch of no-talent ass-beefs. They didn't even use proper grammer in their subject line. I don't know about you, but I don't want people like that monkeying around with my credit, that's jsut not cool. And the "legallity" of anything this shady company does is questionable as far as I'm concerned. At least they didn't gimme any of that "unsubscribe" bullshit. It was kinda funny when I first had the subject column in my trash bin set kinda narrow and the subject read, "We will delete you..." if that's not inviting I don't know what is.

Subject: hot girls!
Date: Wed, 19 Jul 2000 05:56:42 -0800
From: z2qqftvg0elkuqs6x3@intercom.com
To: hiyame@yourhomie.com

For the best adult action go here:
http://216.32.195.122/rosie/frankly/488/goin.html

Your were added to our mailing list according to our marketing research dpt.
For a removal please email Tim Jerrison at seeya3938@diplomats.com
Thank you!

Hmm, marketing research department, I like that. They can afford to have a research department, but they can't afford to get a fucking domain name so they don't have to link to a bare IP addy for their url. I don't know maybe all of the porn domain names are already registered. And speaking of research, what kind of research do you actually think goes on in places like this? "let's see, if said person has a dick with which to jerk off, send said person porn." There, I just saved said dumb as shit company a lot of money on research.

Subject: Did You Know Your Spouse Has A Secret? 24367
Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2001 18:54:05 -0700
From: xpsjmrwba@yahoo.com
To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hi, Now you can. . .
find out anything, about anyone.
Click here now to be amazed!
http://www.internetdealsdirect.com/new/index.html

You can be removed by replying to milunsubscribe@england
with Remove in the subject line.

Okay now, the fact that I'm not married was always a fun indication that, ooh, maybe this sender has in fact, no fucking clue who I am. Maybe if they had a crack bunch of researches like those last butt-clowns, they'd know that. In fact, they didn't want to "disclose" who I was. Like I couldn't figure out who the hell I am, hell, If I was that stupid, I'd probably also try to send a mail to that e-mail addy at the bottom in an attempt to remove myself. If they don't keep track of who they send it to, how they hell are they going to keep track of who wants off. If my addy is "undisclosed" I jsut assume keep it that way.

Subject: This is so cool (102732)
Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 20:59:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: gedw65896@prodigy.com

Hi, My name is Lisa. I'm a college freshman
at the college near you. I'm taking this really
cool class on how to make web pages. I
thought you would like to see some naked
pictures and videos of me and my roomate
with audio and everything.

CLICK HERE (http://1085676277)

This is actually the letter that prompted me to do this, I don't think I've ever laughed this fucking hard in my life. Now, as most of you know, I go to U of I. And I don't remember being located next to "Dirty Skanky Trashbag Porno Hoes University" I don't think that college visited our high school either. But I guess this "Lisa" person must be really talented. She seems to be double majoring in web-design, and "going down on her roomate for money" what a rough curriculum.

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