chaz720.net - journal

October 01, 2000

Illini tower might be really nice as far as a place to live goes, but I can't seem to get a ping below 2500 on our clan server in counterstrike for the practices we have. High-speed my ass.

Oh, that and WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE MY GOD DAMN BATTERIES. I hold in my hand a piece of paper with all the ups tracking and conformation info, that says explicitly that a package was delivered to this address with my name on it at 8:01 a.m. on September 20th. Yet my name is not on the package list anywhere, and I have asked them twice and they don't know what I'm talking about. WTF DID THEY DO WITH MY BATTERIES I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!!!!!!

October 02, 2000

"Drove downtown in the rain Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night Just to check out the late-night record shop Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane When I'm surrounded I just can't stop It's a matter of instinct, It's a matter of conditioning, It's a matter of fact You can call me Pavlov's dog Ring a bell and I'll salivate -- how'd you like that Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue 'Cause right now I'm Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did So I'm lying here Just staring at the ceiling tiles And I'm thinking about what to think about Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought Because I'm Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did And if you want to find me I'll be Out in the sandbox Wondering where all the hell all the Love has gone Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun And singing "Fun Fun Fun" Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did I had a dream That I was three hundred pounds And though I was very heavy I floated till I couldn't see the ground I floated till I couldn't see the ground Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground Somebody help me because I'm Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Drove downtown in the rain Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night Just to check out the late-night record shop Call it impulsive call it compulsive call it insane When I'm surrounded I just can't stop"

Yay, the Kellhounds page is done, goody gum drops...

Oh. and I found out what happened to my batteries. Now I just need to figure out what happened to Marsha's sense of reason and better judgement. Was she always without it, or did stupidity grow on her just like that god awful hair she has. Marsha is the large woman who sits at the front desk. I would call her a receptionist, but that would imply she handles the reception of things. You see, the package with my batteries did in fact arrive here on sept 20th as the UPS confirmation suggested. It's just that, well... Marsha sent them back. I inquired for further information as to why she felt the need to do this and she told me that "the information on the package was wrong." I asked her what was wrong, she said well it wasn't addressed right. I asked her, then how did it get here? she said well the building was right. And I asked, was it not addressed to Rm 1507b, she said it was. Then wherein, praytell, lies the problem... ...the name was wrong... ...it was addressed to "RYAN SIMSON" [sic]... I said, quote "so it was adressed to this building, to room 1507b, which is specific to Hans Voigt and I, with the name ryan simson on it... WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS FOR? JESUS?" she then rambled something as I walked away in disgust. I wish her parents would have given her some plastic bags to play with when she was a kid or something. So I called up batteries.com and I asked them to look up my order number, the asked me what the problem was and I told the guy the story, and he burst into laughter, he then apologized and I said no it's okay, laughter is the only thing that keeps people like us from killing people like her. and we both chuckled. So we fixed the name, and then he said, "whoa, almost didn't captialize your last name, wouldn't want this coming back again." and we laughed some more, that guy was great. helped me along. He did say there was nothing he could do about shipping, so the whole mess is gonna end up costing me $0.99 and about 2 weeks without my batteries. I guess that's a small price to pay to keep away all those mal-addressed packages I've been getting

October 04, 2000

You know, I can't help but feel responsible for my girlfriend's death. We were, you know at a party, and she has been drinking. I guess I didn't pay attention to how much. And she asked me to drive her home. I told her no. She insisted and she asked me again... ...so I shot her.

Hey, how is it going. I made that counter-crap last night, test-audiences seem to have enjoyed it quite a bit, and RzE even said he liked it. get it here

In other random news, I finally got around to moving shit around on my comp which resulted in general fasterness.

If you are one of the unfortunate out there who uses netscape, and you wish to stick with it, please go download version 6. It is vastly superior to netscape 4.75 which is about as capable of displaying css as my glass of toothpicks here.

/me starts defrag and goes to sleep

October 05, 2000

Hans: Try to make it funny, and not just hard core rippin' on me, if you are going to talk about this in your journal
Ryan: what the hell are you doing on my half of the room

Yay! well now, I have been living with Hans for a couple months, and have come to a conclusion. Unless you aim to be annoyed he serves no purpose. And on that note, I have dedicated an entry to pointing his flaws out to the world. He can do the same about me on his site, but, no one reads his site, so who gives two shits.

Hans: [belches loudly]
Ryan: oh, that was cute
Hans: You know what I just realized
Ryan: you are a tactless idiot?
Hans: I don't remember eating that...

So hans has summed up all of his actions into one collective task he likes to call, "emitting nastiness". Nastiness can be defined as one or more of the following:

belching
breaking wind
commenting about having broken wind
consuming food and leaving dishes in the sink.
making retarded jokes
making stupid irrelivant comments
stanking up the bathroom
bitching about my alarm being to loud
going to sleep early and snoring all night
spitting half of his lung into the garbage can.
jamming cheeseburgers he screwed up down the garbage disposal
skipping 20 good songs on his winamp playlist so he can listen to "gimme dat nut"

All of these things are a detrament to the general living environment, and every now and then, when I see him eating an entire box of little debbie snack cakes at one time, I wish him dead.

Okay okay I don't wish him dead... ...but maimed, yes that's it maimed. Maybe a broken arm or something. That could be arranged and be made to look like an accident, yes that's it, it was all an accident, erm, uh, will be.

um, another kellhounds practice tonight... yeah... uh, no comment

So I am making a credits page so that all you un-loyal sporatic viewers out there can see all the songs I have posted lyrics from, and that way I won't get in legal trouble, and we have established in the past that my ass comes first when it comes to this website.

Speaking of this website, why the fuck do I only get 10 megs!!!?!?! AGRAHRAghargharhagrahrghaar!!!!!11 okay i'm better now

So, it turns out netscape 4.x does in fact have css support... ...yeah good for it, go get netscape 6 or better yet IE 5.5, they aren't even more worthless than Tweatle-dumb over here like NN4 is :). I have crap to do tomorrow, I'm going to sleep, this sucks anyway

October 06, 2000

Well well well, I now have tickets to go see Limp Bizkit and Eminem in concert at the Assembly Hall here in the wonderful... ...Champaign Illinois. We all entered the lottery to but tickets, and Fei got the bets number (like 80 something out of 3700) So he bought us all tickets, very nice.

I was brought up as a topic in an interview at counter-strike.dk concerning my counter-craps, random piece of information, check that out here if you are so inclined/bored out of your skull.

Today I made a little stupid internet toy that will keep you entertained for maybe five seconds. have some linkage. essentially all it is, is a javascript function, to take some options and some text, and make a webpage out of it using stylesheets and general html-what-not. No it has no actual purpose, aside possibly from the quick testing of fonts and color schemes. But it was one of those "to see if I could do it" kinda things, you know what I mean? ...no? okay well then forget you anyway.

So, Joel, the lucky bastard, gets a four day weekend this weekend for national "Purdue Students Get To Pick Their Asses For Four Days" celebration. And he has choosen the incredibly retarded option of coming to spend his time off with ME!!! hahaha of all people, he wants to see champu the assbeef... oh well, I have no say over his taste... just kidding buddy, have a good trip over here.

Sorry to all you out there (is looking at mom here) who took yesterday's hans barating too seriously, to say I can't stand Hans would be to have it all wrong, sure he's an annoying worthless pain in the ass. But his shear failure as a member of the human species makes me feel more confident about myself. Once again sorry for any confusion.

In other news... ...my sister like, got a like, cellphone. It's like totally cool, cause like, all she has to do is like tell it who to call, and it just dials the number automatically, oh my god, that's so totally awesome, like, I don't believe it. :)

No sign of the batteries yet, but I feel an evil dwelling, not a good sign.

October 08, 2000

Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder Do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun She's got herself a universe gone quickly For the call of thunder threatens everyone And I feel like I just got home Faster than the speeding light she's flying Trying to remember where it all began She's got herself a little piece of heaven Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one Quicker than a ray of light And I feel Quicker than a ray of light Then gone for Someone else shall be there Through the endless years She's got herself a universe And I feel like I just got home Quicker than a ray of light she's flying Quicker than a ray of light I'm flying

YAY I have batteries, they arriced this weekend and I just piceked them up, so Marsha didn't have a chance to send them back! woohoo, die Marsh Die!

So joel is here now... yeah.

I have a bunch of deep shit I want to write here, but not tonight, I am too tired, and am dreadfully sick. I can't breathe through my nose, I have a headache, and most likely a fever, but I don't know where our thermometer is, so I can't tell for sure. I have that midterm in psych tomorrow. And I feel less prepared than I should be, I will study more tomorrow. I have read all the material but was kinda blank stare reading if you know what I mean. the kind of viewing the words but not grasping the concepts, maybe I was too tired. I will read as much of it over again as I can tomorrow. I have all day pretty much free to do so. So that will be how I spend the day, to a nice book. It is actually quite interesting, maybe I will go out to the quad and read if it's not too cold tomorrow afternoon. I haven't done that in a while. It's actually a lot of fun.

October 10, 2000

Counter-crap got posted today and have recieved a lot of positive feedback, many a letter and such. Same old same old. LOL, great work, what have you. And then there's this guy:

Subject: LOL
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 2000 21:59:01 EDT
From: "Chase Canerdy" badasstimmy@hotmail.com
To: champu@chaz720.net

nice flash movie... counter-fantasy.....lol.... i have a dumb question.. are
you really making counter-fantasy? I know there isnt going to be... but any
way... is there?

Once again... Sometimes I wonder about people.

Sigh, I seemed to have turned into a dork on yet another level today. I am, as Joel and posibly moreso, hooked on Neon Genesis Evangelion. I am done with episode 11 of it and I am stopping only to go to sleep. I find it strange that the limit on downloading from myshare upsets me. It will only allow me to download about 3 or 4 episodes every 6 or 7 hours jagrhgarhgar. I share a similar view of it as Joel. While watching a few minutes from any particular episode would be absolutely retarded looking. The characters go through great development throughout the series. And I'm not quite half way done with it yet. Oh, and at this point, I think slayers sucks. Slayers seems really dumb compared to nge for some reason now. I do think that if you give it a chance nge can grow on you. I'm going to take a break from it, maybe watch an episode a day now. I don't want to fly through it and have it be over that quickly, that wouldn't be any fun. Oh, and apparently I am even more hopeless than even Joel in this sense, you see, my background on my computer is now a Picture of Rei and Asuka... But I don't think I am going to be learning Japanese any time in the near future just to watch more anime. That, Marc, is a bit out there even for me.

Oh, and today's date is 101000 hehe all ones and zeros... okay sorry I'm shutting up now.

October 11, 2000

Apparently there have been some people on our floor that haven't been getting along all that well within their rooms so we all had a little floor meeting to discuss the situation. Afterwords we were told to all go back to our rooms as a group and come up with a contract that the four of us in the room could sign to be sure that we all had a good place to live. Around here we just kinda take everything as common sense and we haven't really had any dispairities here. But none-the-less we were to come up with a contract four our suite, so we came up with the following:

Article one (1): All undersigned parties shall refrain from being a �fuck-wit�.
Being a �fuck-wit� is constituted by, but not limited to the following: Listening to boy band songs more than once a day, or not on accident. Attempting to dispose of anything other than food garbage in the sink. Leaving open perishables on the living room table for several hours. Leaving stank-ass garbage in the room. Getting drunk and breaking stuff. Using cheese as an adhesive. Should any member of the room achieve �fuck-wit� status, the remaining parties shall deal with said �fuck-wit� in a manner, which is deemed appropriate for the infringement, and acquisition of the title �fuck-wit�.

Article two (2): All undersigned parties shall not �jack it� in the shower.
This is for both sanitary and general nastiness avoidance issues. �That ain�t cool.�

Article three (3): If you take a �shit� please put it back.
No one wants to see that� �no one.

Article four (4): Vomit rights
All vomit shall be placed in, not on, the toilet. Not on the floor, not in the sink, in the �mutha-fucking� toilet.

Article five (5): Lock the �mutha-fucking� door when leaving the apartment unattended.
Failure to do so will result in another parties �shit� being stolen and is grounds for the application of �fuck-wit� status (please see article one)

I dunno, we just feel like most of the rules along the lines of respecting your roommates is pretty straight foreward, and assumed.

Well I now have ftp access to csnation so I can put any new counter craps that I make up there instead of either on this site, or god forbid mindspring's webesrver, where the commie bastards put bandwidth limits on the webspace that I'm paying for. How nice of them, they shut down that webspace for the month... So then I had to airlift kellhounds.org to a safe location where mindspring couldn't get it's grubby paws on it. Which was more than zero effort and was thus deemed a pain in the ass. I would still really like to have more space to work with, even if it was 50 megs as opposed to this 10 I have at UofI. But it seems as though all of the free servers that are out there are so unreliable. Why even attempt to host something on a site if it's only going to actually be there 25% of the time?

I suppose at this point I should be jelous of Joel or something. Seeing as he does have 500 megs of space, on a pretty fast server with good reliability. But I can't really find it in myself to be jelous of people. I don't now, and I don't really feel like I have in a long time. Something so empty about jelousy. Although I have made my beliefs about higher beings and such clear in the past, I would like to believe that in the end things show some good reason. And I guess I just haven't found the reason for the internet generally laughing in my face, but maybe I will. Continuing on this note about reasons, I think there are essentially three stances that can be taken. One being that everything that happens in the world is chaotic. No big plan, no fate, no destiny, but just random occurences that lead to one another in a glorified improv on a world-wide scale. The second being that you believe everything goes along to some form of script. That there is a begining that we start at and an end at which to finish, and both are decided for us. The third being that somethings happen due to randomness, and other things are planned out for us. This last view seems to be held by most people nowadays. Human nature, from what I have observed, seems to credit good things that happen to luck, and bad things that happen to being held back by some force that has it in for them. Which I suppose is what makes the phrase, "why me?" so popular in the negative sense.

I apoligize if that last paragraph was disjoint as I was interrupted by hans every few minutes to inform me of another humorous town name he had found on terraserver such as "wet beaver, AZ"... ...I want to break his legs, damn society's laws

So I have been watching nge somemore and it has changed drastically from the first episode. I think it happened right around the end of episode 19, where the series took a servere plot and style twist. An entire episode, was just Shinji (the main character) having various thoughts and flashbacks about what has happened to his life to put him where he is now. Very inciteful. It is at this point that I am going to say that there is really no way the author could have intended this series for children. I think that the themes and ideas would be way beyond the grasp of most kids... ...hell I'm not sure Hans would get it :) but I can't recommend seeing it enough to everyone. Yes, it's in Japanese, yes it's subtitled, and yes it involves giant robots fighting giant blobs with eyes to save Tokyo, but that is so very not the point. I swear Rei's character is making the entire series worth watching it, proving once again you can often times say the most by saying nothing at all. I have the entire series now as well as both movies and it's only like 1.2 gigs or so, so if anyone I know wants I can burn it to a couple of cds and give it to you some time.

And I don't know if I have mentioned it in here yet, but I got my hair cut really short the other day. So now I look even more like a punk teenager that everyone loves to hate, yay! stereotype me all you want people, it doesn't bother me one bit.

On another note, I have devised an ingenious filter to dispose of the dozens of crap mails that people I know have been sending out. Mostly comprised of crispy, rosie, and people refuting them, it has become a bit of a nucence to have to wade through all that crap everytime I just want to get to my important e-mails, or more imprtantly, my fan mail :).

I'm feeling a lot better than I had been earlier this week, as I got some extra sleepy time in today, but not so good that I fell like staying up any later to type in here. I still have more to say, but I'll just have to get to it tomorrow, laterz

October 13, 2000

Once upon a time, Once when you were mine, I remember skies Reflected in your eyes. I wonder where you are, I wonder if you Think about me Once upon a time, In your wildest dreams. Once the world was new, Our bodies felt the morning dew That greets the brand new day. We couldn't tear ourselves away. I wonder if you care. I wonder if you still remember. Once upon a time, In your wildest dreams And when the music plays, And when the words are Touched with sorrow, When the music plays I hear the sound. I had to follow, Once upon a time. Once beneath the stars The universe was ours.Love was all we knew And all I knew was you. I wonder if you know, I wonder if you think about it Once upon a time, In your wildest dreams And when the music plays, And when the words are Touched with sorrow, When the music plays, And when the music plays I hear the sound. I had to follow, Once upon a time Once upon a time, Once when you were mine, I remember skies Mirrored in your eyes. I wonder where you are, I wonder if you Think about me, Once upon a time. In your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams.

The other day I took a look at my site and started to notice something that I am not sure that I liked. I see many entries with news posts, occurances in my life, and yet i did not record my thoughts that I had at the time. While it is nice to have a journal that allows you to take a trip down memory lane when you choose. It does allow for much incite into my mind, nor into the development thereof. And I feel it would be an injustice, not only to myself, but to people who read it, to allow it to continue as such. I will try to make it a point to once again include more thoughts than occurences in this journal in the future. And while anything that sounds forced is very hard to take sincerely, I will avoid the other extreme as well. That being said, I will continue with the irregularly scheduled program.

What is it about other people that makes us have a need to grow so attached? Why do we have a need to love someone else? How is it we choose who we love? What kind of characteristics about a person do we fall in love with? And what kind of characteristics about a person will chew into our very being and leave us changed forever? I believe that all characteristics of a person are potential points that can make a person fall in love with them. I think there is an enormous list of qualities that everyone wants to have in their potential mate. The only variable is the order of importance people place on these qualities. You mental projection of other people depends heavily on your own mental projection of yourself. As Rei said, "It is impossible to love someone else, if you hate yourself." People get into relationships to feel more complete. To put meaning to things. To have a purpose. This purpose is not always the best thing for them, but it can't be explained that easily. Always keeping in mind that complete and content and two different things, can we be complete on our own? Does anyone truely posses the self-respect, personal incite, and sense-of-self that it would take to be a descrete being? So, if we were to assume that the answer is no in most cases, can we try to figure out a method that people use to pick their mates. I don't think I posses the incite to put a universal theorem of relationshop into words, instead I will attempt to look at a few situations. The first I will look at happens to be the one I am observing most at the moment; behavior as a person enters college. I see two basic patterns of people that go to college. They will reinforce bonds with people that they have already established (e.g. become even closer to their partner), or if they do not have a partner, they will tend to feel rushed towards getting one. For some reason there is a fear present that they must find someone to be with or they will not be able to. I think up until lately, I have been in the first category. Logically I knew that there was no reason to feel rushed about attatching with someone, and logically I knew rushing was one of the worst things to do given my personality. But there was an unnamed voice in my head that said, "get out there before it's too late". And as may be rather apparent, I have not heeded this voice. Hans came back today from the party he went to tonight, and he looked as though he was defeated or soemthing. I think we all try to make a too much of a task out of finding someone. I am personally quite comfortable now that I might not fall in love for a while. I can not enumerate what I am looking for in a person, but I do know that I am familiar enough with myself that I will not simply fulfil the need for someone with out fulfiling the individual needs as well. So what does feeling rushed coming to college do to people? Well, to be blunt, it sells condoms. I know of a few people off hand that I don't think are really happy about their first weekend at college. Do they regret it? Some do. Will they learn from it? Hopefully, as I always like to say to say, time will tell.

I put quite a bit of work into the intro movie for the kellhounds site today. I am very happy with how it is coming along, and I know that in worst case scenario, Joel will like it. I have to admit that much of the ideas are mirrored in some way or another from the music video of Rammstein - Engel that was made using clips from the nge series. I am even using the same song.

Joel pointed me to the website for the latest in adventure gaming. It is called realMYST and it longs to approach exactly that, reality. Think myst, now think every other fps you have ever played, and now join them. That's right, near photographic quality images, all generated using a 3d-engine in realtime. I will simply sum it up in one word, breathtaking ( I think that is one word I could be wrong). Just be sure you are running at least a quad-alpha workstation or your framerates will go down the tubes as soon as that first wave starts to roll.

I am looking into ways in which to slowly bring some subtle color back into this site (as I review this it will look quite different than you are viewing it now as even now I am using a different stylesheet than that which is on the internet) and this will mean some pretty basic changes will need to take place and I will have to do some things differently. I do not wish to make a partial change in this respect, so if I am to make any modifications, I'm sure I won't have to point them out.

October 15, 2000

I took my love, I took down I climbed a mountain, I turned around And I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill 'Til the landslide brought it down Mirror in the sky, what is love Can the child within my heart rise above Can I sail through the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life, oh Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I've built my life around you Time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older, too Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I've built my life around you Time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older, too I get older, too Oh, I took my love and I took down Oh, I climbed a mountain, I turned around And if you see my reflection in a snow covered hill The landslide brought it down The landslide brought it down Oh, oh, oh

October 18, 2000

Okay so maybe netscape is quite as bad as I thought it was with stylesheets. But don't get me wrong, it is still a pain in the ass and still full of quirks that can get to you sometimes, but I guess that's the price... I have found a fun place that allows me to design shirts and sell them. And I don't have to put up any money nor really do anything but publicize the shirts. and then once a month I get a nice fat check. I will definately make a kellhounds store which a bunch of cool kellhounds stuff. And I will make that non-porfit so that people inside our outside the clan can buy fun stuff for cheap. I don't need to make money off of the Kellhounds, nor do I really want to. But I think I could come up with some interesting apparel, that would sell.

As a favor I would like to ask that people not come into the kellhounds irc channel (irc.gamesnet.net #kh) and say dau repeatedly just to hear the bot in there yell "yeah FUCK DAU" else I might be tempted to remove that line from the bot's code.

Okay, well, I haven't updated the site in wihle as I ahve been very busy. I will say that I was really wanting to monday night but I had a little problem with my human alarm clock. *cough*. at around 10 o'clock I still had a quiz to study for and I wanted to update the site, but I was really really tired, so I asked Hans to wake me up before he went to bed. He said he'd only be awake another 30 minutes or so, and I said, oh that's fine, I just want to grab a nap... ...So I wake up tuesday morning (not to an alarm, I just kinda had slept enough, you remember that feeling from summer right?) at around 9:30, and I look over at the clock, then I loko back at the ceiling and I say to myself, hmm, I have a quiz in an hour. Apparently Hans didn't end up going to sleep until like 3:30 for whatever reason, so he figured that was too late to wake up. I was originally very pissed cause I never really gave him enough information to figure out what was too late, but now I see he was just trying to be nice, So I can forgive him, I think I did fine on that quiz anyway, possibly just missing part of the second question. The rest struck me as pretty easy. Of course, as they say, if it seems like everything is going well, you have no idea what is going on. A variation of Murphy's law :). We will see. I was informed today by Hans, that apparently I am a sophomore in college. I was, as of late, unaware of this; however it would explain why I got no midterm reports for anything, nor will I, if it is true. So yay, I am a sophomore as far as the school is concerned, but guess what, I know damn well that Jason, Crisby, Toby, Christine, and Rosie aren't going to buy that one :). Cause this would mean that Hans is one to... And altough the "more" is definately there. The "soph" seems to be hiding itself somewhere :). (Little joke for all you latin lovers out there).

last but not least I would like to point th remainder of you out there that Joel has not gotten a hold of to the new and improved Kellhounds site complete with grotesquely huge intro movie which you can skip. You netscape users will notice the biggest change as the site is now very much legible in netscape. It is not perfect, however it is 5000% better than it was, say, about 3 hours ago. As with this site, I will be ironing out netscape bugs over the next few days, this site I almost had netscape displaying this page exactly the same as IE does but I ran into a wall, and kinda had to through that meathod cause it just wasn't gonna work in the end.

October 19, 2000

phydeaux36 (0:40:43): im gonna take gim, put him in a plastic bag, and beat the bag mercilessly until he is nothing but a fluid, and then pour him down the sink

I'm sorry, that just brings a tear to my eye.

I have now downloaded the entire rammstein collection of songs, two albums and four singles in all. Most of it is actually really cool music, there are a few songs that, well, suck really really horribly, to put it nicely. There are few songs that just plain don't sound anything like the same group and those songs collectively aren't good. But other than the few exceptions I actually enjoy the music quite a bit. Hmm... you know what this means... Let's see, I am an 18 year old male, I have a shaved head, I play online games that involve shooting people, I used to get picked on by jocks, I have a website, I listen to Rammstein, I own several firearms, and I... oh wait, I have never killed anyone, omfg! I have just ruined everyone's theory about all of those things being the problem! chew on that for a while, and um, while you are chewing... look over there!

/me bolts out of room

October 20, 2000

Slip inside the eye of your mind Don't you know you might find A better place to play You said that you'd never been All the things that you've seen Will slowly fade away So I start the revolution from my bed Cause you said the brains I have went to my head Step outside summertime in bloom Stand up beside the fireplace Take that look from off your face You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out So Sally can wait, she knows its too late as we're walking on by Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say Take me to the place where you go Where nobody knows if it's night or day Please don't put your life in the hands Of a Rock n Roll band Who'll throw it all away Gonna start the revolution from my bed Cause you said the brains I have went to my head Step outside the summertime's in bloom Stand up beside the fireplace Take that look from off your face You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out So Sally can wait, she knows its too late as she's walking on by My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say Don't look back in anger Don't look back in anger Don't look back in anger At least not today

It's been a long day, always, ain't that right?

Wow, I feel like I have been up since, well, 7:15 this morning, and that about sums up what I feel like right now. I feel like I just woke up at 7:15 on a Monday. even though it's only Friday night, I can't even imagine what Monday morning has in store. I talking to the building tech today, and he (a half-life player himself) said he has no problem with me running a counter-strike server from my room, but he would have to talk to the parklink admin people and say what they said. So with a little luck I'll be able to host a counter-strike server for the kellhounds. I already have the server set up to be sure that it works and it does, right now it is essentially a server running for the buildings very own amusement, and people within the building who play counter-strike wikk see it, and can join and what-have-you. But the rest of the world can't. Anyway, everyone cross your fingers for me.

October 21, 2000

Subject: IT ports
Date: Sat, 21 Oct 2000 20:16:28 -0500
From: Justin Holder �jholder@uiuc.edu�
To: champu@chaz720.net

Ryan, the answer is no. Campuslink controls the router in the building,
so it is not possible for us to change anything, and I know they will
not either.

During winter break, we will return to the University. So, you will get
your public IP's then.

Justin

I have no luck if not bad

Does this not tend to be the way of things? Ask yourself this; would you be more happy about finding 20 dollars than you would be sad about loosing 20 dollars? In other words, if you had a friend of yours flip a coin, heads you give him 20 bucks, tails he gives you 20 bucks, would you be willing to take that bet or would you say it�s not worth it? Does everything bad happen to us by bad luck and everything good happen to us for no reason at all. It�s dawning on me that I had a similar rant going earlier this week but I am just thinking about this again for whatever reason.

meanwhile, this means that I will not be able to run my server as I planned and we (read �I�) will simply have to put up with tcb, oh well I guess that will be the way of things. Goodnight all, and have a pleasent tomorrow.

October 22, 2000

I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I- , I wanna mmm mmm, I-

Too tired... ...to write... ...update- must... ....sleep.

October 23, 2000

I've lost my mind on what I'd find All of the pressure that I left behind On Allison Road Fools in the rain if the sun gets through Fire's in the heaven of the eyes I knew On Allison Road Dark clouds file the moon is near Birds fly by a.m. in her bedroom stare There's no telling what I might find I couldn't see I was lost at the time... Yeah I didn't know I was lost at the time On Allison Road So she fills up her sails with my wasted breath And each one's more wasted that the others you can bet On Allison Road Now I can't hide so why not drive I know I want to love her but I can't decide On Allison Road I didn't know I was lost at the time Eyes in the sun where the road wasn't wide So I went looking for an exit sign All I wanted to find tonight...

I don't know if I like the new tune on the opening page but i do like the slight modification to the lights that I made. So, tomorrow I will see If I have some time I will make a new song loop. Also tomorrow I plan on writing a little longer update. Tonight I want to get some extra sleep because I have a test in calc tomorrow at 10:30. So I'm not going to stay up too late. Last test I spent about 2 hours studying the night before and got some extra sleep and I did very well. And this time there is actually less material. Well, less diverse material, it's a whole bunch of the same stuff over and over again. Find the critical points, do this to them. Find more critical points do this to them. Find the gradient vector... you get the idea. So I just want to review some of the finer points of this chapter.

I am working on a bunch of things right now that are collectively keeping me from getting any one thing done :). I will ruin the surprise and name a few of them. One is that I am making a new counter-crap. I'm not going to give away where I'm going with it, but it will have to do with drivable vehicles in some way or another, you can just wait and see. Nextly I am working on a random remix generator which will take two bands and produce a song by the two of them at random based on other songs they have made. This was insprired by Joel's "Britney Spears vs Rammstein - Oops Du Reichst So Gut" that will be fun. Lastly I am working on a section for csnations countercrap page covering all the 3rd party cartoons that are being hosted on the site with no links to them. I want to get a link to each of them along with a small description of each, but it's a pain cause they are just all piled into a directory and some work all the time properly and some of them have file name issues and it's just generally a mess. That and the stomped directory structure is just generally nasty and has an unpresidented number of virtual trees that lead randomly all over the planet and end you up either where you began or else nowhere at all. god it's so terrible. I thought it was bad that I just put all my files (for the most part) into one directory and said screw orginization. I guess there is a worse alternative.

October 25, 2000

I am in a bit of a pissy mood cause a bunch of stuff is randomly not working out for me so well at the moment. I have been sick, tired, and kinda mentally hung up on a number of things, and school has just been kinda an extra weight on the whole thing. That and about half an hour ago, I rolled my chair backwards and it rolled up over my chem book knocking my mechanical pencil onto my foot and then landing on top of it resulting in a nice huge gash in my foot which hurts like one could not possibly imagine. Suprisingly I have been still doing fine and keeping up with my work despite circumstnaces. I am going to be signing up for classes pretty soon (within the next couple weeks), and right now it looks like I will be taking the follwing classes, (rough estimate): some physics class either 111 or 112 depending on what my advisor has to say, I'd just assume take 112 as to this day I am helping explain 111 to people and I am not even in the class. Difeq, that's differental equations for those of you who didn't know, which is aparently some very abstract math class or something, Brian said it was interesting though, so it sounds like it's all good. Can't be all that much different from 242 (multi-var calc). ece whatever, I'm not sure exactly what class comes after 110, but that's what I'll be taking, once again, it's up to my advisor. And lastly I'm not sure, I kinda have to take another class, and I'm thinking history might not be a bad idea. I need to take it eventually, and Hans just took it this semester so he will be there for any possible questions I might have, I think he might be taking math 242, and physics 111 next semester so I can help him with those if he needs it.

Well, on to more news-type stuff; It looks as though my server computer will be able to function as it's design intended starting possibly this Saturday. I will set up terminal services on it so that I can esentially use it from anywhere I please, and have full control over it. It will also be running a web server, an ftp server, and a counterstrike server on it. As well as an IRC bot. What this means is, chaz720.net will finally have it's very own home. And finally I will be able to have as much space and bandwidth as I want. AND, I can finally use SSI. hoorah! (SSI is something that is virtually unoticed by the web-surfer. As it's name suggests "Server Side Includes" tells a server to parse documents and include extra code or cgi scripts before it is sent out over the web. So all I have to do is have one file that could be called journal.html which would have all the info about what the journal was supposed to look like, and then jsut include seperate entries as I went along, making my life easier, and making your lives not change whatsoever.) anyway where was I... right, as much space and bandwidth as I need, plus the convienance of a counter-strike server for our clan that can be left up all the time. So in a few days my webspace will go from 10megs to approximately 15 gigs. Meaning I will be able to finally complete all the photo galleries that I have been meaning to put together since I got my camera but as of yet have had no room to do so. Right now, however it is awfully early in the morning, and I do have class at around 10:30, and I do have a long (however usually pretty interesting) Thursday ahead of me. I bid you farewell for the time being

now I just hope I can finally connect to the school's webserver to upload this as it has been giving me a lot of trouble lately...

October 26, 2000

Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think. I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks. I never have to worry about gettin' a man, if I keep this blonde, and I keep these tan. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see people work and it just makes me giggle, cause I don't have to work, I just have to giggle. 'Cause I'm a blonde B-L-O-N-D. 'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? I never learned to read, and I never learned to cook. Why should I bother when I look like I look? I know lots of people are smarter than me, but I have this philosophy: so what! 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for 'em cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. They say to make it you need talent and ambition, well I got a TV show, and this was my audition... um, okay what was it? um, okay don't tell me, oh yeah okay, "Duck Magnum! Duck!" 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. I took an IQ test and I flunked it of course, I can't spell BW, but I got a porsche. 'Cause I'm a blonde B-L-I-N-D. 'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? I just want to say that being choosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment that I will remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my forth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian because I love children. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true. But with my hair and body, you would be too. 'Cause I'm a blonde B-L- I don't know. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Grr, friggin B on my math test ahgragh, that's just annoying, always with the little ridiculous stupid errors I tell you. This calc class involves the most obscene equations I have ever had to deal with and they just scream, "make a dumb, mistake, c'mon, yeah you, I'm talking to you, I know you want to!" All we do all dsy long is take 3 equations and turn them into 5 equations, then we take those five equations and turn them into a dozen equations, then we solve the dozen equations for 8 variables, and discard the 7 of those answers that aren't zero. That is one piece of advice I offer all you people that are going to be taking math242 (or whatever they call calculus of several variables at your school), the answer is always "0" or "no, it doesn't". That's all you really need to know. Speaking of things to know about college, something awful posted a Guide to collge life, here's a little excerpt:

Since you are attending college, it is a basic assumption you will develop a drinking disorder (if you are a lady, you are expected to get an eating disorder as well). In order to reach this goal in the quickest time, you need to know how to do it right. Starting off, try soft wine coolers like "Boone's Strawberry Hill", "Turbo Dog's 100% Dope Rasberry Booze", or "Scotch." Eventually you will need to progress to drinking beer. There are high-class beers such as "Heiniken," which are brewed from pure barley oats and glacier water. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are beers made from freshly cut crab grass and goat urine, like "Red Dog" and anything that costs under $1.25 for a 12-pack. For you "hardcore" drinkers or "fucking idiots," try wild things like body shots. For a body shot, you'll need some Vodka, fruit, salt, and a rotting corpse from your local graveyard. Take the Vodka (known as the "shot" part) and pour some in the corpses rectal chamber (known as the "body" part), then drink. If you notice anybody giving you odd looks or running away, this is because they're stunned by how cool you are.

Ah yes, Something Awful, once again, telling it how it is. Today was a fun day in the old engineering lab, we got to play with multiplexors... ...yay! multiplexors... ...cough. There was a kellhounds game today that I played in because apparently a couple people didn't feel the need to show up so I just got played. I played pretty well, but when I didn't have money and had to by the crappier guns I playesd like crap. I was owning with the aug for the first time in a long time, I'm usually not all that great with that gun but it is pretty nice. We didn't win the match, but getting killing three people and jumping off the second floor and landing on top of the last guy and shooting him in the head to win the round made the whole game worthwhile.

Joel and I spent too much time tonight writing mIRC scripts so that we can be cool and all that other crap on IRC, so as to awe all the other dork IRC people. And frustrate people when they try to figure out how we do it.

October 28, 2000

Well, for now I am not going to be making the new server my website as I am not sure ff it's speed is going to be all that consistant. And right now I am toying with the idea of having rosie set up the server at osu. I'm considering this, because in all honesty, the server does me absolutely no good if I can't run it from a fast location. And remote admining it is as simple for me as having the ip address. So that will definately be a consideration, I don't know if I am going to ship it to them, but I would definately have them bring it down if I see them at thanksgiving. Like I said, don't know, will think about it. While I'm thinking I will let you read a little list that my sister Leandra sent me that I thought was awesome. And it gives some answers to the question, "why did the chicken cross the road?"

VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN: I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY: Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
RALPH NADER: Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
RACHEL TERNS: To get to the other side.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
CARL TERNS: To get the bird seed.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

Now, this didn't really give me any time to think about the future location of my server, it did give me a chance to think about this; why is that list so amusing? Something about gross exageration is funny. You take the personality of some famous person, you take a topic to be commented on (e.g. a chicken crossing the road) and you manufacture a line that generalizes that person's attitude in a humourous mannor. So did these people do something wrong that they would deserve such scrutiny from the masses as to warrent this? And in the case of MLK, I think it's kinda belittling his beliefs. I dunno, I'm being a overly picky bastard, it just kinda struck me as weird that I found it funny.

I have come to the conclusion that Hans's role model for like is Jason Mewes (Jay, as in Jay and Silent bob from the Kevin Smith films). That is where I see Hans in five years :)

October 29, 2000

Well, today has been an interesting day in the world of internet availablility, or lack thereof. Since last night, there has been nothing but web browsing available, and I have yet to get ftp or telnet working again. It is really frustrating when they can't just leave something alone that ain't broken. Anyway, I have had time to clean up my room quite a bit. I have all the junk picked up and put away, I cleaned up the mess of tangled crap behind my computer so now I can actually relax my legs under my desk without a fear of them trying to consume me. I also went through all of "My Favorites" (aka IE bookmarks) and actually saw to it that they were in fact, my favorites. Can you tell I really didn't feel like doing my chem prelab? :)

Oh and I downloaded the first four episodes of Sabre Marionette J to watch. And I try to play them, and windows media player tells me it is unable to download the appropiate decompressor, so I go to microsoft's site and download the new windows media player 7. after I install it, it did nothing but perform illigal operations no matter what I tried to do with it, even when I tried to play movies that had previously worked, I got nowhere. So I downloaded it again and thei time it played other movies fine, but then it tells me it has all the codecs it needs to play anything, and yet it still just played the sound to the SMJ movies. So get this; tonight I randomly mention this problem in #d-smiley (a chatroom that houses the dorkiest of the dorks when it comes to the cs community, hell, Joel and I are in there a lot, what more do you want?) and some guy says (he first words after being idle in the room for like an hour and a half) oh yeah, you need to download the divx audio codec which you can get at http://divx.ctw.cc. I was like, omg I wuv j00! so now I can watch the episodes I downloaded, yay! but not now, must do chemlab... I will do it with my extra hour I obtained today, and you all thought I was going to waste in on something pointless like sleep.

October 31, 2000

Alright, I'm going to be blunt, I am tired, I feel like crap, and I hope everyone else feels horrible too, because that would make me feel better, okay thank you all. I haven't slept in roughly 36 hours, and I'm about ready to pass out on my keyboard. you should consider yourselves lucky I am writing this instead of sleeping. Yesterday (as every-other Monday's always are) was sucky as hell; busy -all- day in the land of lectures, labs, and libraries. I will have to avoid sandwiching a lab like that again. last night my sister called because her computer was being an absolute pos and wasn't allowing her to do anything. So she comes over with her computer and I deem the contents of her hard drive totaled, and want to just start over agin. So i copied all of her documents, and bookmarks onto disks, and I boot it up off of a floppy. T type FORMAT C:, it tells me I can't because the drive has drivespace (a data compression tool on it) so I type FDISK, and get the same response. Okay... so I load windows and go tell drive space to decompress the drive and it says no, there is not enough room. So I delete some random files, and tell it to do it again, it says okay and starts to "check the drive for errors" it went to 20% and back to 0% and back to 20% about 10 times before I said fuck it, and I just deleted the program files directory, and found the drive space utility files, and deleted all of those. I deleted the system registry files, and most of windows, then restarted with the floppy disk again... FDISK... ...DELETE PRIMARY PARTITION... ...YES I AM SURE... ...FORMAT C:... yay! a blank drive finally, so I install windows, and office, and aim, and netscape, and all the drivers, and all the other programs my sister had on it. And gave it back to her, I must say that thing actually runs really well now, so well in fact that Fei had me do the same thing to his laptop too. At this point I realize it's four in the morning, and I have to do a bunch of chem homework that got bumped up to be due today, so I did that til I had to do my calc homework, then I went to calc, chem, a psych subject pool. Now it's four in the afternoon, I have to run some errands, I finish off Fei's laptop (a 200 MHz MMX with 32 megs of ram and a 2 gig hd) and now kevin likes that laptop better than his P-II 400 cause it's loaded down with crap, an I have the 200 running better than his does, who knows, I see myself doing another laptop overhaul in the near furure. So then I have to go take a chem test that was tonight at sever, which I did good on anyway. I got back here and I made a movie for RzE's csn. And now I am burning cds for Kevin, and typing this out. It's 11:20, I have a quiz tomorrow, a quiz and a lab on thursday, and I am sick again. It is halloween and I did not go trick or treating for the first time in a long time :). but I feel better cause I have a little package full of all kinds of awesome candy right here (thanks Katie) And what is the worst part of it all. I just got my hands on a copy of the new Legend of Zelda game and I don't see myself playing it in the very near future. :(

/me cries

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