Since you are attending college, it is a basic assumption you will develop a drinking disorder (if you are a lady, you are expected to get an eating disorder as well). In order to reach this goal in the quickest time, you need to know how to do it right. Starting off, try soft wine coolers like "Boone's Strawberry Hill", "Turbo Dog's 100% Dope Rasberry Booze", or "Scotch." Eventually you will need to progress to drinking beer. There are high-class beers such as "Heiniken," which are brewed from pure barley oats and glacier water. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are beers made from freshly cut crab grass and goat urine, like "Red Dog" and anything that costs under $1.25 for a 12-pack. For you "hardcore" drinkers or "fucking idiots," try wild things like body shots. For a body shot, you'll need some Vodka, fruit, salt, and a rotting corpse from your local graveyard. Take the Vodka (known as the "shot" part) and pour some in the corpses rectal chamber (known as the "body" part), then drink. If you notice anybody giving you odd looks or running away, this is because they're stunned by how cool you are.