chaz720.net - journal

December 28, 2000

(Yo man) Yo (Open up man) What do you want man? (My girl just caught me) You let her catch you? (I don't know how I let this happen) With who? (The girl next door, you know?) Man... (I don't know what to do) Say it wasn't you (Alright) Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creeping with the girl next door. Picture this we were both butt-naked banging on the bathroom floor. How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standing there, she never took her eyes off me. How you can grant the woman access to your villa? Trespasser and a witness while you cling on your pillow. You better watch your back before she turn into a killer. Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner. To be a true player you have to know how to play. If she say you're not, convince her say you're gay. Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim, And you tell her baby no way. But she caught me on the counter. (It wasn't me) Saw me banging on the sofa. (It wasn't me) I even had her in the shower. (It wasn't me) She even caught me on camera. (It wasn't me) She saw the marks on my shoulder. (It wasn't me) Heard the words that I told her. (It wasn't me) Heard the screams getting louder. (It wasn't me) She stayed until it was over. Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creeping with the girl next door. Picture this we were both butt-naked banging on the bathroom floor. I had tried to keep her from what she was about to see. Why should she believe me when I told her it wasn't me? Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on Da right prefix. Whenever you should see her make da giggolo flex. As funny as it be by you, it not that complex. Seein' is believin' so you better change your specs. You know she not gonna be worrying bout things from the past. Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to noontime mass. Your answer: go over there, but if she pack a gun, you know you better run fast. Gonna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused. I've been listenin' to your reasonin' It makes no sense at all. We should tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused. You may think that you're a player, but you're completely lost.

I am fascinated by people's need to know as much information about everything as possible. And this can be expressed in a number of different ways, most notably is by simply snooping/spying/evesdropping. Many people will peak at letters when they have the chance, look through someone's computer, it's part of being an infamous "flawed human". Somehow in our twisted mess of motives floating around in our head, we feel that it is very beneficial to have as much information as possible. I guess it makes sense, it can be made use of in a number of ways, the more information we know, the better a decision we can make. Or on a darker note, information can exchanged for other gains *cough*blackmail*cough*. So I guess I can see why people would do suc things as snoop and evesdrop, there is nothing but benefit for the subject, that is of course, unless he or she gets cought.

The other part of people knowing information is a bit more interesting. It is not so much "knowing" information that is important here, but rather what I like to call, "projecting the image of grandeur". In more basic terms, you are only as intelegent as the people that count percieve you. Who are the people that count, well, it can be any number of people at any given moment; a boss, a friend, a client, a sibling, a fan, whatever you wish. Anyone you want to think you are intelegent. So, how does one go about "projecting the image of graduer" effectively? Well there are a few parts to this type of intellegence, henceforth refered to as, "street smarts". It's probably 20-30% actual knowledge based on past experience, you read it somewhere, or god forbid even in school. Another 20-30% is based on intuition, that voice in the pit of your stomach that says, "yeah, sure I guess that would make sense.", and no I'm not talking about the anchovies you had for lunch. Finally the last 50% is made up of confidence. And when I say confidence I mean 100% home-grown, not from concentrate, pure-bred, fiber-enhanced, completely biodegradable, made from recycled materials, bullshit. Now keep in mind that just because half of everything I say I pulled out of my ass (or a bull's ass in the case of the last sentence) does not mean that half of the time I am straight-forward and the other half of the time I am bullshitting. Rather, half of each thing I say is probably an uncertainty. Words can flow from my keyboard (I'm usually not very philisophical in real life to be completely honest) and the 50% of me that is using knowledge can stear the bullshit half in the right direction, but at that point, it's anyone's guess.

So what about people wanting to know information? just because they can "bullshit" well, doesn't always make them feel all happy about themselves. So people will actually convince themselves of things. This is both dangerous and funny as all hell at the same time. People may have a few pieces of information that they've accumulated, and they will complete their knowledge of said topic with up to 60% excrement! Then! they will attempt to tell themselves that this is actual knowledge. Which is the number one reason that a number of you shook your heads just a minute ago when I told you that you were 50% full of shit. You said, oh no champu, I am more like 25% full of shit, no wait, make it 15% full of shit. Well I'm here to assure you, that you are at half a tank. The people that "project the illusion of granduer" the best are the ones that know where all their lines are drawn. When talking to other people they must be fully aware which barrel they have their hands in or else they are going to step in something they don't want to. I think it was Joel who told me sometime this last summer, "you seem to just bullshit everthing you say, but almost all of the time you end up being right", and on one of my reviews at compUSA my manager told me, "you seem to really know what you are talking about at all times, that's one of your greatest points is product knowledge. Of course you could just be bullshitting, but when you talk it sounds convincing enough for me." To which I replied, "Why Mike, I would never need to bullshit you", to which he replied, "what are you still doing in my office?" Ah, but in all seriousness, I think people like to see confidence first and formost. Particularly when hiring employees, but also just when people are looking for friends. There was a kid I met right when we got to school here that had a clump of people hanging around him the whole weekend just because he acted like he knew where he was going. He in fact had no idea where the hell he was ever going, but the shear impression of knowledge was enough to make me stick with him (that and there was also some pretty good looking girls that were with him too, but that's a bit off of todays topic, ahem, cough) The grand moral of today's story is, if you are pretending to know something, just remember where you put your bullshit, so you don't step in it.

USDA Warning: this entry is known to contain unusually high levels of cow feces, please be advised.

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