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Nov Dec| April 01, 2001 |
| Measure me in metered lines, in one decisive stare, the time it takes to get from here to there. My ribs that show through t-shirts and these shoes I got for free; I'm unconsoled, I'm lonely. I am so much better than I used to be. Terrified of telephones and shopping mall, and knives, and drowning in the pools of over lives. Rely a bit to heavily on alcohol and irony. Get clobbered on by courtesy, in love with love, and lousy poetry. And I'm leaning on a broken fence between Past and Present tense. And I'm losing all these stupid games that I swore I'd never play. And it almost feels okay. Circumnavigate this body of wonder and uncertainty. Armed with every previous failure, and amateur cartography, I breathe in deep before I spread these maps out on my bedroom floor. Leaving. Wave goodbye. Losing, but I'll try, with the last ways left, to remember. Sing my imperfect offering. |
| Sorry to put you through the evil that is my god awful april fool's day joke, but I figured I'd do something. I've taken a couple midterms in the last week and I got As on both of them, but since good things happening all the time is what we like to call "bad reporting" I'll move on. Yesterday, I'm sitting here at around 2:45am and I hear "oh god no!" and a huge splash of water from the hallway and then people running off. So, I went to investigate. I look outside my door and I see no one, I walk down part of the hall and I still don't see anyone, til I get to the big firedoor that kinda closes off our wing of the building, the 4 apartments over on our side, when the two daves come lunging around the corner each with a hge bowl of water, so I slam the firedoor shut and one of them threw the water into the door, and as I was holding the door, Minnesota comes up behind me and dumps a bucket of water on my head. I step back from the door and someone opened it right into my foot, making this extremely painful inch long gash between my big and index toes on my right foot. So I grab my foot and fall on the floor, and the other dave, oblivious to said writhing in pain, dumps another huge bowl of water over me, and So now I'm bleeding everywhere and completely soaking wet. I'm like, "stop the hate!" and finally someone helped me up so I could bandage up my foot (which seems to be healing very well, I should be fine by tomorrow morning) Unfortunately, our little escapades failed to go unnoticed by the building attendants, who were looking for someone to point a finger at. We bascially just got as many large fans (and the RD brought two big industrial ones) as we could to dry everything out, and it has bascially worked, aside from the faint smell of mildew, I'd say it's cleaned up nicely, and it doesn't look like anyone is going to be having any fines or anything like that. Now only about a month and a half of school left, and it doesn't look like that time is going to be all that bad, as my teachers are really great this semester. On that note, my ECE teacher was changed about a week ago to a new guy, who is infinately better than the last teacher who was teaching. And I even took the time to e-mail my new teacher and let him know that the class no longer instills in my the desire to kill now that he is teaching. I take it his silence means he understands :D I would like to assure you all that I too, had to look at the evil colors while updating this site today, so you can all grin and bare it :P |
| April 04, 2001 |
| Happy birthday dad! I have found a new addiction with which to squander my time. Well, not really new, as much as it is recovered. And that is Need for Speed III: Hot Pursuit. Hans and I have been playing each other at the game all evening, and it doesn't get old. One person can be a cop car and the other a speeder that has to try and get away, or you can play with both people running from cops and you have to try to avoid the police and win the race. And you can even download custom cars, Hans drives the General Lee, that orange car from Dukes of Hazard. And I drive the Knight 2000 (KITT) from Night Rider and it is just plain hilarious. If you have NFSIII I will prolly put up a few recordings of our races because they are always entertaining I have an Econ102 test tomorrow, bleh I updated the flash page yesterday with a bunch of movies that were on cs-nation. They aren't by me, but they were hosted in the counter-crap folder, and were never linked anywhere. Quite a few of them are funny, and some of them really really suck and I don't like. But if any of the people that made them is reading this for some reason, let me assure you, yours is(are) the funniest thing(s) I have ever seen. If you only watch one though, watch Trouble in Jeepathon. It was made by peto, and of all the counter-craps, mine, SecurityGuard's, or otherwise, I think it's my favorite, and I don't think I'm alone here. I have also been messing with my 404 error page trying to get to work better in general. There are still a few issues for it, as the way that the windows2000 IIS serves the error page is incredibly non-intuative, and generally very dumb. The image on that page is from penny-arcade. And I got their blessing before using it, so that's all good. Tonight Marci was on the phone with Hans, and she wanted him to sing her a song over the phone, and he said he couldn't cause he is a horible singer (I will vouge) so Marci is said fine, give the phone to ryan and have him sing a song, so I did, and now then I gave the phone back and blah blah blah, and now hans is all worried about that he can't sing, and Marci was joking about how much cooler I am. I don't know, I think the sooner this get's dropped the better. No point in beating a dead horse that didn't have much life in it anyway. Once again my sleep habits have returned to "eh, whenever it's convienient" rather than "hey, I have class in a few hours, I better get some sleep" So I sleep about 4 hours at night and 4 hours in the afternoon. I suppose that's not too bad, although my eating schedule is completely messed up by it, and I need to find more motivation to spend my awake hours doing something more productive than running a diablo off the road to give it a ticket. Wow, that entry was completely pointless (save the happy birthday :P) maybe it would be a convienient time to go to sleep now. |
| April 05, 2001 |
| Well the econ test went well (read: A) but there is just something about econ that makes you talk like Alan Greenspan if you've been reading too much of it. The following idea came out of a conversation Hans and I had. There are all kinda of businesses and firms in todays society, and if our free-market society is going to be efficient, then all of the industries are going to need to start looking at profit maximization. Everyone from the Motorolas, down to the most insignifigant crackwhore. That's right, I can't tell you how many times I've seen crackwhores operating ineffciently and it makes me cry that Adam Smith's "invisible hand" is not leading them as it should.  Here we see the efficient ways that crack whores can maximize their total high from smoking crack (indicated by the shaded green area) and yet minimize the number of losers they have to sleep with. Since it's such a competative market, crackwhores are considered "price-takers", indicated by the horizontal demand curve. This means that they will get the same price whether they go cold or work the streets like a cat in heat. It is important to always look at maximization problems "on the margin" or in other words, "How much more crack is one more John going to get me?" And if we find the point where this curve (ML) crosses the number of women the pimps call for (B) we can see the area of the lowest self-degradation-to-crack ratio. |
| April 06, 2001 |
| Are there times contagious? I've never been this bored before. Is this the prize I've waited for? Now as the hour passing There's nothing left here to insure. I long to find a messenger. Have I got a long way to run. Yeah...I run. Is this a cure among us From this processed sanity. I weaken with each voice that sings. In this world of purchase I'm going to buy back memories. To awaken some old qualities. Have I got a long way to run. Yeah...I run. |
| I recall a time way back when, I started this journal. Joel had been writing his journal, and he just made this new version of it. It had no character returns, it was just white on black text, and the only indication of a new entry was simply a ||. Since then there have many changes and it has taken on many forms and over the year has seen many face lifts. But now, finally, it has evolved to an all time high-state, please be kind and pay it a visit Well, usually my favorite season is spring for a few reasons
Right now I am tired, I got eight hours of sleep last night, I ate my meals today, And I did a fair amount of walking (nothing major, but I got moving) and yet I'm just tired. I think I'm a bit worn out from the last couple weeks of large amounts of labs tests and homework, and I still have to write a paper for econ, a lab for engineering, and a decent amount of physics homework before I get to relax. It seems as though there is always some project, or some next big thing that is coming up that I have to get ready for, I get times of relaxation right after one goes by, but it's usually back to working again right away. perhaps I allow things to loom over me a bit too much. Where is the line that says maybe you are planning just a bit far ahead? where is the line between the future and now? Knowing that you will have a good job, and have a home to go home to, and the comfort that you will meet someone is great, but there are times that a person just needs to just let go for a few hours, days, who knows, it's different for everyone. Hans spends a signifigant amount of his time playing snood, racing games, or quake. and when I'm not resting or doing homework, I am usually reading wedsites, watching animes that joel reccomends, while writing various code for this site. As fun as it is to have fruits, this machine isn't nearly as entertaining as it used to be. I haven't sent a new e-mail to anyone in almost 4 months, I've just been replying, and I've started maybe 10% of my aim conversations in that time. It seems like a huge protion of my time is spent talking to people that have questions for me. I realize that at least four of you that ask me questions often read this site, so dont' think that I mind, but it this stuff just kinda dawns on you after a while. I recieved 500 e-mails in the month of march, five hundred... and less than a quarter of them were from people that I know. I feel caught up in it. Like there is some element of it keeping me here. This is another thing that people like to have freedom. Not only freedom to live how they want to live, but freedom to change the way they want to live. People love to believe that they are control of their lives and that their lives are not in control of them, but when things tie you somewhere, it makes you get, well, tired... I think my problem with the current state of things is that I don't really make flash movies much anymore, and I don't play counter-strike anymore, and I don't find myself on irc that much, and yet all the other aspects of it just float around like I never 'left'. Oh well, this is, as joel would say, 'a high class problem'. Well, right now, I have some time before I have to do anything, I think I'm going to relax. |
| April 10, 2001 |
| I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this yellow-haired girl. Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-haired flamenco dancer. She dances while his father plays guitar. She's suddenly beautiful. We all want something beautiful. I wish I was beautiful. So come dance this silence down through the morning. Cut up Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dances. Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones. Believe in me, help me believe in anything. I want to be someone who believes. Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales, stare at the beautiful women. "She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me." Smiling in the bright lights. Coming through in stereo. When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely. I will paint my picture, paint myself in blue and red and black and gray. All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful. Gray is my favorite color, I felt so symbolic yesterday. If I knew Picasso, I would buy myself a gray guitar and play. Mr. Jones and me look into the future. Stare at the beautiful women. "She's looking at you. Uh, I don't think so. She's looking at me." Standing in the spotlight. I bought myself a gray guitar. When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely. I want to be a lion. Everybody wants to pass as cats. We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that. Believe in me because I don't believe in anything, and I want to be someone to believe. Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio. Yeah we stare at the beautiful women. "She's perfect for you, Man, there's got to be somebody for me." I want to be Bob Dylan. Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky. When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as funky as you can be. Mr. Jones and me staring at the video. When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why and we don't know how, but when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just about as happy as can be. Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars.... |
| Another song that when I heard it today could not give you one good reason that it wasn't in one of my entries yet. Okay well, a lot has happened since last friday, so I guess it's from the top. A ton of people visited this weekend so friday some people were over and we played cards for a while and just kinda wondered around having a good time. My only class, Difeq, got canceled because my professor wanted to see this, "really fucking cool expose" that was going on for just that hour, so no quiz or even class. I also saw Castaway as well as The Man Who Knew Too Much Saturday, Hans comes to me and tells me that the mod chip has come for his Playstation 2. And so I, being the nice guy that I am, took his soldering iron from him and installed the mod chip. The first go around, someone had failed to take the game out of the machine while I was working on it, and so that got all stuck and screwed up, so on the third trip back to my desk it was working beautifully. What can I say it was something to take up an afternoon. So we went to Dave's room again and sat around doing nothing and playing cards. Hans suggested we go to block buster and rent a bunch of playstation 2 games to copy, so we walked over there and picked up a few games to copy and figured out just exactly how to use the mod chip (there is a bit of a process, but now that I've done it several times, it's really easy, and basically involves using a gameshark to play the games) and how to get the games to burn properly. Well, once we got that working, we left to go to SAE's afterhours that night. That, I must say, was some of the most fun I've had in a long time. I almost forgot how great dances were, particularly if you know as few people there as possible. That way you can dance however the hell you want, with whomever the hell you want, and you won't run into anyone you know :D. But, perhaps you can run into some of those people again ;). Sunday, we fully realized the wonders that is SSX snowboarding. The graphics in that game are crazy, the two player mode is addictive, and you can do moves like the "flying squirril" and "the swiss cheese" if that's not a selling point, I don't know what is. Hans mentioned he liked two player games on consoles better cause you are right there with the person you are playing and I'm starting to agree with him. SSX helped a lot there. Monday, I signed up for my classes for next semester and I also know pretty exactly what I'm taking in spring as well. Next semester I have
I got a hellish week coming here. I have a diffeq quiz tomorrow, an econ paper due monday, an ece test a week from tomorrow, and a physics test a week from thursday, oh and I'm going home this weekend, so I doubt a whole lot of work is going to get done there :P, I will definately have to bring my ece book home to read while I'm at home, and I konw I won't be doing things all weekend, so I'll make time. Until next time... |
| April 13, 2001 |
| I'm going down to Cowtown. The cow's a friend to me. Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be. Beneath the waves, the wave, and that's where I will be. I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea. The yellow Roosevelt Avenue leaf overturned. The ador of aboreality is an adventure we have spurned, we've spurned. A new leaf overturned. It's a new leaf overturned. We yearn for our home, but our only home is bone. How sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone. Forsees the bone, the bone. Our only home is bone. Our only home is bone. |
| Electrical/Computer Engineering Final Question 1) Using only NAND gates, and as few gates as possible, get a date. Must be completed at a bar and she/he must be an LAS major. Question 2) Explain to your spouse what you were doing out so late last night. Use combinational logic, and be sure to support your response with truth tables and/or K-maps Question 3) Using a Multiplexor of any size, and a 2:4 encoder, request Christmas and New Year's off from your boss. (the eves are not required but extra credit will be given) Question 4) A man in front of you is dying, restore heartbeat with an ALSU, Include the proper control words used. Restoration of breathing must be done without micro-program control. Question 5) You are stranded on a desert island, and the only food available is coconuts. Open one using no more than 16 32-bit registers. Spilling the contents will result in loss of points. |
| April 17, 2001 |
| throw away the radio. suitcase keeps you awake. hide the telephone, the telephone, telephone in case you realise that sometimes you're just not okay. you level off, level off, level off, but it's not alright now. you need to understand there's nothing stange about this. you need to know your friends. you need to know that i'll be waving my hand, watching you drown, watching you screem, quiet or loud. maybe you sould sleep. and maybe you just need a friend. as clumsy as you've been, there's no one laughing. you'll be safe in here. throw away this very old shoelace, that tripped you again. try and shrug it off, shrug it off, it's only skin. now you need to understand there's nothing fake about this. you need to let me in, i'm watching you. |
| 'champu' is spanish for 'shampoo' which is 'senpatsu' in japanese, I'm not sure why I know this exactly but- wait, now I remeber, joel told me... thanks joel :P Well, I got up early this morning to do the physics homework that is always due on Tuesdays, and as I have just past the deadline here at 8am and I decided to stop working, something dawned on me. And that is, I could really give two shits about most of this homework. I took a moment to look at my track record of online homework assignments in this class, and my average falls around 80% right now, mostly due to things being submitted late and/or missing parts of assignments and what not. and I saw this and I was saying to myself, geez, I had better buck up on this if I know what's good for me... but then something else dawned on me, I have almost 100% averages in all tests, quizzes, and labs sections, who really cares what the hell my homework grade is, I mean really. As long as I make some form of attempt at using the homework to familiarize myself with the material, then I think it has served it's purpuse. This is almost as bad as my econ situation Speaking of econ, I finished my (now looking back on it) rather retarded econ paper. I don't mean to say that it wasn't well written, nor was the material covered incorrect or anything like that. But that doesn't mean my whole topic and conclusion wasn't blatently obvious to anyone with an IQ of more then 7. Hopefully my econ professor will manage. The first period leading up into the first test, Hans and I dragged each other to class every Monday and Wednesday morning (I did most of the dragging) to sit through his convoluted lectures when we could have been spending our time more productively throwing burt-out lightbulbs down the elevator shaft, lighting twinkees on fire, or racing slot cars against a parrot. And on the test the only questions we got right were those that sense of the common variety led us to the answer (we both got 'B's). So we took up an entirely new strategy for the second test, and that was to completely and utterly blow off the class all together and read the chapters the test was on the afternoon before the test. And low and behold, we both got 'A's this time. Hans even aced the test. Read that last sentence again to make sure you fully understand it's meaning. At some point or another I got a cold yet again. I must have some form of like viral resort in my sinuses or something. "Kids Eat Free" or something along those lines, but whatever it is, I'm really tired of going to sleep happy and waking up miserable. I think I just need to set up a couple more alters to the DayQuil gods and see if that gets me anywhere, one can only hope right? SSX snowboarding still rules I got kinda a late night call last night regarding a computer problem that my sister's boyfriend was having with his video card. It turned out the card wasn't quite seated in it's slot all the way, and it needed new drivers. okay so that story looked like a much better idea when I had it on my little list of things to cover for today but maybe now that I look at it it wasn't all that interesting. Please ignore this paragraph Have you ever had someone ask you how you were doing, or how things were going, and you feel like your days/weeks can best be summed up with an ellipsis? Yeah... |
| April 21, 2001 |
| And you don't seem to understand. A shame you seemed an honest man. And all the fears you hold so dear. Will turn to whisper in your ear. And you know what they say might hurt you. And you know that it means so much. And you don't even feel a thing. I am falling, I am fading, I have lost it all. And you don't seem the lying kind. A shame then I can read your mind. And all the things that I read there. Candle lit smile that we both share. And you know I don't mean to hurt you. But you know that it means so much. And you don't even feel a thing. I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning, Help me to breathe. I am hurting, I have lost it all. I am losing. Help me to breathe. |
| I finished watching serial experiments lain today, and although I enjoyed it a great deal, I can't think of anyone I would recommend it to. Aside from joel, who originally mentioned it to me, most people I know probably wouldn't enjoy it because it's just so weird in its course to make its point that most people would probably lose interest. I really enjoy anime series like that. The ones that actually spawn discussion websites in an attempt to figure out what the meaning of them was, rather than just fan sites that have a bunch of junk to by or message boards filled with stuff like "NO WAY MAN LINA INVERSE COULD KICK RYOKO'S ASS!!!!!1 SLAYERS RULES!!!" Although I have been watching love hina too, so I guess even the cynical and demented people like myself enjoy kinda goofy light-hearted stuff from time to time. As long as it doesn't repeatedly involve storing up energy in your hair and kicking someone so hard that they fly back and break the crust of the earth, I think I'd be cool with it. So I've taken three tests in the past three days, and I don't have grades back save one of them, which wasn't shining and spactacular, but I did just fine on it (read: 'B') te other two I feel I did really well on, so I'm hoping to have that confirmed in the near future, but I still have one more test in Diffeq before finals so that is one of the last steps before summer. Things are looking better about the whole internship at Motorola as they had been looking grim for a while. I'm getting hopeful responses from both my dad and from hans's dad (my two lines of communication to the upper management at Motorola) so I am cautiously optimistic now. If you have never eaten pepperonni pizza rolls, you have simply never lived. So Thursday night we went out and hit the bars, we played cards, darts, and what not. Discussed lifestyle differences with these great Austrailian exchange students I met. Got some pizza, smoked a cigat, general great time. Didn't go out last night cause I was sick all day from standing out in the rain smoking a cigar the night before... cough. Haven't decided what's going on tonight, but I think we might just hang out here and invite some people over. I was asked nicely by the new webmaster of csnation to once again make cartoons for the site. I told him that I would think about it, but I was trying to get more into the interactive side of flash before I made anything else, and that this probably meant that I wasn't going to make anything until after I had taken finals. He said he understood and was hoping that I would make a few cartoons once the time comes. Well, I guess I'll have to see just hoe I feel when the time does come. |
| April 24, 2001 |
| When I step into the light, My arms are open wide. When I step into the light, My eyes searching wildly. Would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free? Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok? When I'm walking by the water, Splish splash me and you takin a bath. When I'm walking by the water. Come up through my toes, to my ankles, to my head, to my soul, and I'm blown away. When I'm walking by the water, Splish splash me and you takin a bath. When I'm walking by the water. Come up through my toes, to my ankles, to my head, to my soul, and I'm blown away. I can't believe that we would lie in our graves. Wondering if we had spent our living days well. I can't believe that we would lie in our graves. Dreaming of things that we might have been. I can't believe that we would lie in our graves. Wondering if we had spent our living days well. I can't believe that we would lie in our graves. Dreaming of things that we might have been. Would you not like to be? I can't believe that you would not like to be. Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok? |
| so, as I'm gradually getting various tests and what not back things are looking good for me going into finals. Most classes I will have a pretty solid A going into the final, except econ where I think I am borderline A/B. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on in difeq as far as what quizzes he said he would drop depending how many we have taken. because I have two quizzes I'd like to drop and I practically aced all the others, so that can make a difference, that and I still have another test in that class before finals, so it's still up in the air. Overall things look good. I got an e-mail from my parents, followed by a phonecall and another e-mail from Motorola telling me that I do have a place to work this summer there. That's about as relieved as I've been in a long time about anything. I will not only get the money and the experience out of this, but I think without something of this magnitude to do over the summer I would have gone insane and, through this site and my boredom, taken you all with me. Well, whether I've mentioned this or not, this is what I do when I write updates now. When I get the motivation to actually write an update, I grab a slip of paper, and the first thing I do is pick a song, then I start writing down a little outline of points I wanted to hit. I do this now because I usually have so much going through my head that I would not be able to get through an update of the size that I have been writing them lately without leaving out something that I really wanted to talk about. Now you asking why I even bother telling you this. Well, I have presented myself with a bit of a problem, you see, I have this little card in front of me that I came up with not 2 hours ago, and one of the points listed on it here is "something larger" and I have absolutely no clue what the hell I was thinking. If I ever solve the mistery (that is if I solve it before the end of this entry than I'll let you know So I was thinking this morning about the difference between actual sleep and snooze sleep, and why the truely balanced needs both. In otherwords, the rationalization that I can get by with an extra 7 minutes of sleep. When you are sleeping, it is like a requirement. Everyone needs their circadian rhythms, and this means that at some point in your 24-hour day, you gotta sleep if you want to function. This I think we takea as a given, and (most) people don't really make a daily decision if they want to sleep that night or not. However, ahem, some people like to also obtain a feeling of relaxation from having slept. While one can get eight hours of sleep and feel rested afterwords, this does not necessarily mean that they are now relaxed. In comes the snooze alarm... Obviously on top of 6-8 hours of sleep, 7 minutes is not going to tip the scales so that you feel like you can wrestle a bull, however my personal observation, and thus scientifically proven fact, says that that 7 minutes of laying there awake in the morning can relieve tension and generally add to your relaxation well into the morning and afternoon. I want to add a stipulation here, you can't hit the snooze alarm and go back to sleep, that = bad. you should just use the snooze alarm because you wish to lay there and not have to conciously monitor the time. Why are id card laminants legal on college campuses? Many of you have noticed (and made use of) my little Annoying Text Box on the front page. I put that there to keep track of the last 10 things that people say, be it about the site, about the current entry, or about nothing in particular. I just put that there as a little "test of interest" really and that won't stay there forever. I am working through in my head the layout and code I want to design/write for a message board system. Which means sorting through the finer points of storage of all the user information, cookies, session ids, and e-mail notification, as well as security and password encryption. The posting thing on the front page is just one of several experimental scripts and thingy-ma-jigs I've been coming up with. I tell you, no matter how recently I just wrote one thing for this site, I just have some other hair-brained idea that I can't let go. Man, what's next? One thing that I have been doing more lately, is rather than when I would have otherwise eaten at a fastfood place like McDonalds, Subway, or Burgur King, I instead eat at one of the local cafe/bars. Murphy's pub has some of the best burgers in the area and a meal there doesn't cost any more than one at McDonalds. And for the most part, the walk from my apartment is shorter to go to a place like Murphy's or Joe's anyway. In fact next year, we will be living literally next door to murphy's, even more fun! Speaking of the place we are living next year, there appears to be a store of interest that will occupy the space on the first two floors of our building. The signs read that it will be some form of a technology center, so I'm guessing something resembling a best buy or a circuit city will be moving in there. If such is the case, I might be inclined to get a job there as I will literally be living on top of it, so the commute is non existant. The more I look at the locatoin of our apartment next year, the more glad I am we choose it. |
| April 27, 2001 |
| Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? I didn't mean to call you that. I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me. Please tell me, please tell me why, My car is in the front yard. And I'm sleeping with my clothes on. I came in through the window last night and you're gone...gone. It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy. 'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me. The smoke alarm is going off, and there's a cigarette, Still burning. Please tell me why my car is in the front yard. And I'm sleeping with my clothes on. I came in through the window last night and you're gone...gone. It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy. 'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me. Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? I didn't mean to call you that. |
| Once again I have the plague or some seemingly just as awful illness. I don't get why this only seems to happen just in time for the weekend. I am feeling better this afternoon after having taken some dayquil, I haven't decided if I'm going to go out or if I'm just going to relax tonight and watch a movie or something. Probably the later, but around here, who knows what crazy places people are going to try and drag me :P There seems to be another random influx of e-mails containing "how do you do that's" about flash. I found one person that was asking me something that I didn't really know how to do but it kinda intregued me so I went out looking for a tutorial on how to do it. I now know why I get so many e-mails asking me to explain things, most tutorials are about as helpful to making movies as a 5 pound blob of silly putty. Most are written by those whose command of the English language appears to have been relinquished. Admidst the mess of crap there are a few that I did think were useful and I was able to get those out to those in need, joy of joys. I actually just got in from taking a test in Difeq after just having studied (read: learned for the first time) the material for the previous 5 hours. And I think I did very very well on the test. I felt pretty confident going into as although the material is very difficult there were not all that many types of problems that we had to know how to do, so I was able to get each of them down pretty damn well. Now you may be asking yourself, if I've talked so much about how great my Difeq prof is and how fun the class is and you haven't missed a single class, then why in god's name am I having to learn all this stuff the morning of the test. Well, I don't usually do the homework until the test is coming up because this helps me have examples of all the different types of problems right in my head while I take the test (this actually works by the way) and upon trying to do the homework yesterday, I realized that I had never seen anything like this in any of the lectures. At some point or another (presumably as a sick joke) my professor went from teaching actual problems to teaching how the equations that we would use to solve said problems came about... ...ignoring completely that whole step of, you guessed it, solving the actual problems. But, since I had gone to class every day, and I knew more than I could ever possibly want to know about eigen-values and fourier series, I was able to teach myself how to do all the different types of probles and work through several of them in about 4-5 hours, even under the influence of dayquil. Needless to say, when I got back from the test, I proposed a toast to "fuck math" with my roommates. I notice I have this sorotiry sticker stuck on my shelf here, I remember taking it off myself and putting it there at some point but the details are foggy. I guess some girl must have like, stuck it on me, or like something. This summer is looking really great, my car and my job are official and both look as though they are going to rule, now just what to do about this whole "finals" thing I have to go through in a week *grimaces* almost as if by magic, it appears to be summer outside already. What did I say about spring being passed up and me not liking it, grrr. the trees bloomed, the weather got warmer, but along came the humidity. Still no bugs yet *knocks on wood* Once again I would like to know where my hot water is. |