chaz720.net - journal

May 27, 2001

When you're on a holiday You can't find the words to say All the things that come to you And I wanna feel it too On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain When you're on a golden sea You don't need no memory Just a place to call your own, As we grift into the zone On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad any more On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad any more

Friday night we got to go to a weezer concert care of Q101. It was free to get in, but the catch was that you had to figure out where to get the tickers, and there were only 600 people admitted. They gave out clues during the course of the week, and Hans, myself, and Rich spent some time friday morning trying to figure out where the tickets were. We then went out on our lunch with joel, marci and jinni to go get the tickets (successfully I might add if it's quite alright with you) The concert was great, and I got a t-shirt signed by the band members. Although I'm not a huge weezer fan, I love all their old classics. My favorite song of their's is Island in the Sun and when they played it I was singing along and having a great time.

As this summer is starting to sink in after a couple weeks, I find myself wishing I was back at school. Yeah, most of my old friends are here, yeah, I have a job that pays very well for the amount of work that is expected from me, yeah I just got a car and I am getting to drive it everywhere, yeah I have gotten to go to a free weezer concert, but something just isn't right and I can't seem to put my finger on it. Something like I'm not supposed to be here. I still haven't unpacked, and my stuff is all over the place. I feel like I can't put it all away, like my stuff has no room here. Just the other night I was at wendy's with joel and jinni and we were having this rediculous arguement the letter 'e' vs. the letter 'a' and I, in the usual retarded fashion that I do most of what I do, went to the employees of the place and asked them how they felt about the letters. And for some reason, rather than the kind of joking answers I would usually get when doing stuff like that (and I have before) no one thought it was funny... ...at all. Which makes me wonder if there is just this gap that has opened between U of I and the NW Chicago suburbs and I have yet to cross it. Other than for brief moments during the weezer concert, I really haven't seen people smiling the entire time I've been here. I don't know what everyone is so melancholy about but it depressing the hell out of me. One can only hope it's temporary.

I have been enjoying my job, however. I am actually learning and doing things there (despite the infamous Friday-Weezer-Concert-Hunt) that are of interest. The only reason I have been a bit big on time there is because of some problems motorola ran into with a system that had been implemented for the city of chicago. And it has monopolized a lot of the machines in the lab that I need to do work on so that I can continue my course of actions. A suprizing amount of what I do revolves around me doing my work in due time and then waiting for someone to get back to me about the next thing I have to do before I can go on. Meanwhile I have been helping hans with some of the scripts that he had been working on for someone. But those present new problems by the minute and work has been pretty slow with that. Still I get a good idea of the bevy of stuff that goes on even before a product is in development, so that makes the job very interesting.

Right now I still don't feel all that well in general. I know I don't want to be alone, but I don't know who I want to be with... ...alone.

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