chaz720.net - journal

March 13, 2002

Hey, dont write yourself off yet. It's only in your head you feel left out, or looked down on. Just do your best, Do everything you can. And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away. It just takes some time, little girl, you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be allright, alright. Hey, you know they're all the same. You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in. Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else. Hey, dont rite yourself off yet It's only in your mind you feel left out or looked down on. Just try your best, Try everything you can. And don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say.

Instantly fell in love with this song. Heard it at a friends place when I was finishing up ece210 homework. Had to get it, it and about a dozen other of their songs.

I'm taking a moment to write cause I need to get a break from studying for this blasted music test. Ga'h, the last couple weeks have really just taken it out of me. I've gotten pretty apathetic about school and I'm doing the work and doing the studying in more of a fashion of just going through the motions, and trying to look just to next week to get away from classes. It's been hell I'll tell you that.

The more I've been getting swamped the more I've been going to get help from office hours, friends, and the course newsgroups. I've never really had to do this before as going to class and maybe some reading from the book was usually enough to get through a course, but here it's just not cutting it. Maybe that's some form of lesson overtone that they are trying to lay down on us, "you are not a god, go get some help for god's sake." Well if it is, it worked, I know how and where to get help with my work... now knock it the fuck off.

I haven't really driven anywhere around campus in a while cause I usually just walk if I'm staying on campus using the car to head over to the commercial area of the city to buy things and this doesn't take me toward campus at all. This practice has prevented me from noticing the absolute shit that the streets around here have turned into. I just gave Corrine a ride home a couple hours ago and I felt like I was off-roading most of the way. It generally has to do with some overly-elaborate city beautification project that is not doubt being funded in part by the Bears coming down here next year. Particularly since the target date of completion fits snugly just before the start of the NFL preseason. To be honest, I don't really care, as long as it friggin gets done while I still go to school here :D

So march madness eh? I don't know. I'm psyched for the tournament, but pools don't really look all that attractive because I'd end up betting against what I actually want to happen in some cases and I have a hard time in good mind doing that, so I might just try to enjoy it at it's face value.

No real plans for spring break, and I decided I don't really care. My sisters are going to be in town for at least a few days that anywhere I went would keep me away from so I'm just going to say screw it. I'd rather just relax and do as little as possible. Typical burn-out fashion... Just a couple more months and then I can go back home and work 40 hours a week, I tell you, after a semester like this, it looks really damn good.

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