chaz720.net - journal

January 02, 2003

Where are you going, with your long face pulling down? Don�t hide away, like an ocean that you can�t see, but you can smell. And the sound waves crash down. I am no superman. I have no reasons for you. I am no hero, oh that�s for sure. But I do know one thing, is where you are, is where I belong. I do know where you go, is where I want to be. Where are you going? Where do you go? Are you looking for answers to questions under the stars? If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me until a brighter day. You're okay. I am no superman. I have no reasons for you. I am no hero, oh that�s for sure. But I do know one thing, is where you are, is where I belong. I do know where you go, is where I want to be. Where are you going, where do you go? Are you looking for answers, where do you go?

Well the last few days have been a lot of fun hanging out with everyone at our place down in Champaign for the new years. We played football, watched football, ate lots of grilled red meat and drank lots of beer. As for the actual new years well, I can't be too sure on any of that but I do know it involved a barfight at Murphy's, lots of confetti poppers, wondering around town, a drunk girl at Brothers, some guy's wallet, and a christmas tree, the details are all a little hazy though.

I found myself constantly criticizing Joel's driving both on the trip down there and around town. I wonder if I'm just really picky or if he's really just that bad a driver... hmm, mysteries of the universe...

Anyway, I feel like I did myself in by having this break from break because now it will be hard to entertain myself to my liking. I mean, we barely have any sopranos left to watch, and we can't very well drink and go out to bars every five minutes. I do suppose there's nothing keeping us from grilling though, we should definately do that a couple more times before people start going back. Ah well, I'll try to remain cautiously optimistic (oxy-moron)

So since I've been home it's been interesting. I wasn't here for the main family gathering on new years eve when they all got together for fondue. But in all honesty if I spent the new years with Eric and Leandra, Lauren and Brian, Carrie and Dave, and my Mom and my Dad I don't think I would have had a very good time as I'd be the only non-couple there. Those situations always get strange at some point. I dunno, to me Christmas is definitely a family thing, and new years is definitely a time for friends, that's likely how I'll always see it.

Either way, I hope everyone had a good start to 2003, I wonder where this one is going to go...

January 07, 2003

The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground. There's no room, no space to rent in this town. You're out of luck. And the reason that you had to care. The traffic is stuck, and you're not moving anywhere. You thought you'd found a friend, to take you out of this place. Someone you could lend a hand, in return for grace. It's a beautiful day. Sky falls, you feel like it's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away. You're on the road, but you've got no destination. You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination. You love this town, even if that doesn't ring true. You've been all over, and it's been all over you. It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away. It's a beautiful day. Touch me, take me to that other place. Teach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case. See the world in green and blue. See China right in front of you. See the canyons broken by cloud. See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out. See the Bedouin fires at night. See the oil fields at first light. And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth. After the flood all the colors came out. What you don't have, you don't need it now. What you don't know, you can feel it somehow. What you don't have, you don't need it now. Don't need it now, was a beautiful day.

I saw Catch Me If You Can yesterday and I thought that it was great. I also saw the Robin Williams comedy thing he did earlier this year, which was alright I suppose, but most of the comedy was just cheap shots at things. His physical humor kinda makes up for it though. I dunno, like I said it was alright.

Go Buckeyes!

I got woken up this morning by a phone call that was my mom from Bermuda having me run an errand for her that she needed done right away. So while I was up I got some gas and picked up some McDonalds breakfast cause it's been while. Now I actually have a whole day in front of me instead of waking up at 4pm, and I hardly know what to do with myself. Odds are I'll end up spending a good part of it playing Metroid or something along those lines. I kinda feel like going back to sleep but any work I've put towards getting off of vampire hours would be shot to hell if I did that.

I'm not sure why I, or anyone for that matter, is always so interested in keeping normal waking hours as though there were some unwritten law dictating when one is allowed to be awake. Given, being awake during the day makes going out and getting stuff done easier as more places are generally open during the day. But really, if you don't intend to get anything done on a given day, or if you just want to clean or something around the house, or homework, or god knows what, then who gives a rats ass whether you do it at 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning?

Besides you know... the sun man, the sun is really bright. I don't know if you ever noticed that before, but just a heads up.

January 18, 2003

I got a head with wings, I got a head with wings. I can see so far away, I can see so clear. You would not believe the view up here. I got a head with wings. Now I'm floatin aruond up here way above the clouds, so high above the ground. And the only thing that holds my head to the ground, is this one little skinny string. I got a head with wings. I can see so far away, yes so far away. I can see the shadows fall across your face. I got a head with wings.

And just like that, I'm back in Champaign again.

Actually it wasn't quite that easy. The drive down was arduous as my windshield washer fluid was frozen and all along I-294 they don't plow very well, they just use lots and lots of salt. So most of the drive I just wouldn't use my wipers at all, and when the build up of shit from people cutting me off was too much, I would drive along side a semi so the water splashed up on my window and then I'd use my wipers real quick to get the mud off and then turn them off before the salt in the water started smearing across the window, and accelerate past the truck. Tada, clean window.

Sometimes I even impress myself.

Anyhow, break was fun but it was time it needed to end. Once just about everyone else goes back to school and I'm just kinda chillin' there with maybe a couple people, the break has pretty much run it's course. I'll be looking forward to diving into classes here on Wednesday as I really need something to get myself back on a human schedule again.

My parents started their little road trip to Tampa where they will spend a month or so. So naturally I had to set up my mom's old laptop to provide the essentials of internet usage on the road, and a recepticle for photos from my mom's camera. And, of course, complete instruction on how to use it for both of them. That pushing right up against the time I was leaving made things pretty hectic as it all boiled down to the zero hour, but I think it all worked out okay. And now it's done so I just have to sit back and wait for the phone call about how they are in Florida now and nothing works and it's all my fault.

So this weekend we are celebrating Joel's 21st birthday here in Champaign. His brother and a friend are coming to join Hans and I. We'll likely hang out and play cards at Murphy's and maybe run into Amy and her friends as today is her birthday and she plans on being at Murphy's as well. Anyhow, now that I'm unpacked and I have this written I think I'm going to relax for a while before people start showing up...

ah... relaxing...

January 27, 2003

Honey you are a rock upon which I stand. And I came here to talk, I hope you understand. The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you. And how could anybody deny you. I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now I met you. And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you. Green eyes. Honey you are the sea upon which I float. And I came here to talk, I think you should know. The green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find. And anyone who tried to deny you, must be out of their mind. Because I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter since I met you. Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you. Green eyes, green eyes. Honey, you are a rock upon which I stand.

Really I only have headphones so that when I get songs like this stuck in my head I can listen to them on repeat and not bug the living hell of anyone within earshot.

The reason I've been not writing is because I wanted to wait until all my classes got under way and I could give my outlooks. Because honestly without outlooks, where would we be?

Taking the classes I am is going to be reasonable as it turns out. The way they are set up and the way my schedule works I should have more than ample time to get things done. And Tuesday is going to be, rather than just a day off from classes, my busiest day for getting schoolwork done, meeting with lab partners, and reading lectures for the week.

My teachers are a mixed bunch. My infamous advisor makes an appearance as my ece340 professor, but he certainly makes a better teacher than an advisor, and even manages to be funny. He labels all the topics and concepts that are presented as either A, B, or C. Where A is something we must know for the class, B is a direct application that will be useful in further coursework, and C as something we should "take a look at, but don't lose sleep over not understanding it". Maybe you'd appreciate this scale more if you've ever taken an ece class, but if not, then please just understand that is immensely refereshing. Choose yor favorite sierra mist commercial for a demostration.

My cs225 prof (the same as for 125 which I didn't really attend ever so he's new to me) has a good sense of humor, and despite what I've been told, I think the lectures are going to be pretty useful, or at the very least, mildly interesting. Plus at that point I'm already out of the apartment and it's much harder to justify not going to a class when you are already "out and about" as they say.

The other classes, ece310 and ece249, look like they are going to follow similar patterns as ece classes of yore save for the natural progression of the kind of material presented. It's not to be expected that every class I come across be the highlight of my day, so I'll just leave it that these classes prolly won't put me to sleep, but on the other hand they won't keep me up long hours either.

I've been able to get out to Murphy's to drink and play cards a lot the last week or so. There's been a steady supply of random groups of people wanting to do this, so it makes it a lot easier. This includes the outting for Joel's 21st which was fun, his brother even managed to get a portillos chocolate cake for him (which I'm told is some kinda tradition or something I really have no idea) Other than that occasions like "no reason" and "because" have sponsored the events.

So my parents apparently came really close to buying a house in Sarasota or something. They decided against it due to some design rules about neighboring houses and weird floorplans, I'm not really sure, but it became too annoying to be worth it so the plan was sacked.

I did eventually get my car washed, not because I care about it being dirty, but because I didn't really want the paint falling off come spring.

I picked up Simcity 4 because I was sold by the commercials and I really liked simcity 2000 which I was told it gets back to the roots of (after a less than appealing simcity 3000, or as some like to call it "sim pain-in-the-ass".) It has turned out to be pretty fun but there are some budgeting problems I always manage to run into which seem, at the moment, impossible to solve unless I take money from outsiders so that they can spoon-feed a recepticle in my town with toxic waste, which is... ...you know, frowned upon by local environmentalist movements. I'll continue playing it for sure though, as the promise of cool skylines and spans and whatnot lay somewhere buried under my toxic waste dump of a shithole that no one in their right mind would want to live in, I just have to do some more digging.

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