chaz720.net - journal

April 06, 2004

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, Then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder. Hey Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin, you're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder. Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better.

Can I stop going to school now?

I'm really glad to have in the back of my mind the knowledge, a glimmering and consoling bit of hope, that says once I get my diploma, this will all have been worth it. I've come under the impression it is common for the last semester of school to be a cakewalk. This semester, as it would happen, can be better compared to actually attempting to walk through a giant cake. A task that may appear trivial or even amusing at first, but when you're three-fourths of the way through the cake, the novelty has worn off, and you really just want to take a shower.

I finished my second program for my graphics course yesterday, I also took a test this morning in my worthless numerical methods class. Before that it was a mock-up demo for senior design, project labs, more programs, tests, demos, mps, quizes, and homeworks. It all extends back as far as my memory can serve me in a slurry of work where one assignment is indistinguishable from the next. In a month I will commemorate the lack of resolution by framing a small piece of paper and hanging it on my wall.

In the interim, I'm taking it one week at a time, still jumping on the weekends, and trying to get as much sleep as I can.

One thing I'm going to have to find time to do is sit down with next year's falling illini president and show him the ropes of what I do. I've learned quite a bit, and although I feel like over all it went pretty well there's certainly some things I do differently, and I'll try to pass that on as best I can.

I finally got around to getting a gear bag capable of holding my rig, helmet, and all the other fun stuff associated with skydiving so it's not as much of a production to lug all that stuff out to my car. Even though I've been doing my best to throw more and more stuff out in preperation of moving out to California, I still appreciate the occasional "new toy".

Speaking of lugging things, my car, and new toys (now that's a segue) I took the big ole sub box out of my trunk. Perhaps "extracted forcefully and with much frustration and reckless abandon" would be a better description seeing as the process left the box in about 30 pieces. I replaced it with a simple sealed 10" enclosure which resides meekly in the back corner of the trunk, no doubt feeling dwarfed by the marks in the carpeting where the old box used to be. In all honesty, it sounds just fine and I can actually put more than one or two things in my trunk. Really something I should have done a long time ago...

April 23, 2004

Transport, motorways and tramlines, starting and then stopping, taking off and landing. The emptiest of feelings, disappointed people, clinging on to bottles, and when it comes it's so, so, disappointing. Let down and hanging around, crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around. Shell smashed, juices flowing wings twitch, legs are going, don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel. One day, I'm gonna grow wings, a chemical reaction, hysterical and useless. Hysterical and let down and hanging around, crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around. Let down, let down, let down. You know, you know where you are with, you know where you are with, floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back. And one day, I'm gonna grow wings, a chemical reaction, [you know where you are,] hysterical and useless. [you know where you are,] hysterical and [you know where you are,] let down and hanging around, crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around.

Well I'm knee deep in a final project for just about all my classes. I've compiled a list of things I have taped to my monitor which serves two purposes. First, it lets me cross things off and see progress (this time when everything is crossed off I graduate.) Second, it is staring me right in the face anytime I'm at my computer and thus promotes working on at least one of the dozen or so things currently on it.

At the end of next week the vast majority of it will be done, but I still won't be in the clear. It won't be until the following wednesday that I'll be finished with all the crap and I'll just have to take finals (of which I have three, one the first day possible, and the other two crammed at the end of the following week) I can't wait to look back on all this and well, think whatever it is I'm going to think about it briefly, and then go off and watch TV or something less stressful than thinking about these last few weeks.

Not too much news in skydiving realm. I'm up to about 140 jumps now, I plan to continue jumping quite a bit the last few weeks to help maintain my sanity. I may have 160-170 when I graduate. And the weekend before and after finals should afford some time to spend the weekend in Vandalia hanging out with the people there for probably the last time in a while.

I sent my canopy in to PD to get a new lineset put on it. In the meantime I'm going to be demoing a sabre2-135 (same size as mine, but a newer version of the design) which should be entertaining. I really liked the sabre2-150 I jumped when I was at perris back in January. Hopefully this doesn't convince me to buy a new canopy immediately. I'd like to get to the middle of the summer and settled in before I get back to buying skydiving gear, which in many ways seems to be a hobby all in itself.

Time to get back to the trenches, I'll see you on the other side.

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